Future Furlough
Falling down
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2006
- Posts
- 171
USA Yesturday
Mainline Air Carrier signs code share agreement
by Ima Haack
Legacy HQ, Your Town, USA
Mainline Air Carrier (NASDAQ: Crooks) announced today that it signed an agreement with the regional airline Will Fly for Food (NASDAQ: Cheap) to provide regional jet service using 70-100 seat airplanes to serve many of Mainlines domestic destinations. "Will Fly for Food will allow us to better serve markets that are too small to serve with 150 seat airplanes and too large to serve with 50 seat airplanes. It’s a win-win situation for our customers and our stock holders, " stated a Hughe Schiester, CEO. "Besides that, they are way cheaper operators than anyone else out there," he added. When asked about product quality comapny officials stated, "Customers only see the insignia on the tail. They will see no real difference in service or safety standards."
A Will Fly for Food press officer Stewp Ed Stooge replied with giddy enthusiam, "This is a great day for WFFF Airlines. It allows us to continue our unprecedented expansion and adds value to our stockholders. It also means we will now fly to every United States airport that has commercial airline service and undercutting everyone in existence."
Company literature indicates that WFFF Airlines flies 50 to 110 seat airplanes to smaller airports flying under several different brand names. Union representatives noted that pilots get hired at minimum wage and are guaranteed 72 hours a month and at least 10 days off a month. When on overnight trips the company pays for double occupancy rooms so that pilots don’t have any out of pocket expenses. "Our pilots are happy to be here and feel fortunate to be flying such awesome aircraft," stated the VP of Flight Operations. "Heck, a lot of them would pay to work here. In fact, by the time they pay for health insurance, some of them do," he added.
Shares of both companies shot up ten percent on news of the agreement. Executives announced that bonuses for managers would be raised this year.
Mainline Air Carrier signs code share agreement
by Ima Haack
Legacy HQ, Your Town, USA
Mainline Air Carrier (NASDAQ: Crooks) announced today that it signed an agreement with the regional airline Will Fly for Food (NASDAQ: Cheap) to provide regional jet service using 70-100 seat airplanes to serve many of Mainlines domestic destinations. "Will Fly for Food will allow us to better serve markets that are too small to serve with 150 seat airplanes and too large to serve with 50 seat airplanes. It’s a win-win situation for our customers and our stock holders, " stated a Hughe Schiester, CEO. "Besides that, they are way cheaper operators than anyone else out there," he added. When asked about product quality comapny officials stated, "Customers only see the insignia on the tail. They will see no real difference in service or safety standards."
A Will Fly for Food press officer Stewp Ed Stooge replied with giddy enthusiam, "This is a great day for WFFF Airlines. It allows us to continue our unprecedented expansion and adds value to our stockholders. It also means we will now fly to every United States airport that has commercial airline service and undercutting everyone in existence."
Company literature indicates that WFFF Airlines flies 50 to 110 seat airplanes to smaller airports flying under several different brand names. Union representatives noted that pilots get hired at minimum wage and are guaranteed 72 hours a month and at least 10 days off a month. When on overnight trips the company pays for double occupancy rooms so that pilots don’t have any out of pocket expenses. "Our pilots are happy to be here and feel fortunate to be flying such awesome aircraft," stated the VP of Flight Operations. "Heck, a lot of them would pay to work here. In fact, by the time they pay for health insurance, some of them do," he added.
Shares of both companies shot up ten percent on news of the agreement. Executives announced that bonuses for managers would be raised this year.
uke:
