New FAR

[Dead Batteries!]

PROPOSED FEDERAL AVIATION REGULATION ACT

1000.A No mechanic or mechanics, or person or persons acting on the direction or suggestion or supervision of the mechanic or mechanics may try, or attempt to try or make or make attempt to try to comprehend or understand any or all, in whole or in part of the herein mentioned Federal Aviation Regulations, except as authorized by the Administrator or an agent appointed by, or inspected by the Administrator.

1000.B If the mechanic, or group of associated mechanics becomes aware of, or realizes, or detects, or discovers or finds that he, or she, or they, are or have been beginning to understand the Federal Aviation Regulations, they must immediately, within three (3) days notify, in writing, the Administrator.

1000.C Upon receipt of the above mentioned notice of impending comprehension, the Administrator will immediately rewrite the Federal Aviation Regulations in such a manner as to eliminate any further comprehension hazards.

1000.D The Administrator may, at his or her option, require the offending mechanic or mechanics, to attend remedial instruction in Federal Aviation Regulations until such time that the mechanic is too confused to be capable of understanding anything.

 

[nosehair]

Where's the form to comply with 1000.B? I know there's a form to submit, in writing, to the Administrator.

 

[MauleSkinner]

Where's the form to comply with 1000.B? I know there's a form to submit, in writing, to the Administrator.

Uh-oh...sounds like you're starting to understand the new reg...You're in violation! Wait...no, I'm not gonna tell, 'cause that would imply that I understand it, and I'd be in violation...your secret is safe with me!

 

[Lead Sled]

As long as we're talking about mechanics...

I found this Dear Abby column. It sounds about right.

'Sled

Dear Abby:
I'm faced with a major dilema. I'm engaged to be married soon and I haven't been totally up-front with my fiance. I come from a highly dysfunctional family - my father is on death row for killing a priest during a robbery attempt. My mother is a crack addicted prostitute. My older brother is in prison on drug and child pornography charges and my sister is in a mental hospital after attempting to kill her family. If all that wasn't enough, my younger brother just became an aircraft mechanic. My question to you is should I tell my fiance about my brother the mechanic?

Signed,

Wondering in Winnemucca

 

[405]

Whoa godd*mn, this is the funniest sh*t I've seen in a long time.

You pilots are a laugh a minute.

 

[JRSLim]

Whoa godd*mn, this is the funniest sh*t I've seen in a long time.

You pilots are a laugh a minute.

Actually it depends. For an accurate number, we need to consult the P.O.H. On really cold days, pilots can actually achieve laugh rates of up to 50 a minute. One laugh a minute usually happens at high altitude on very hot days. Of course those numbers only really apply to brand new pilots who haven't been flown to hades and back....