[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=+2]Dateline - Friday September 5th, 2008 [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times, serif][FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]Mesa Airlines Is Bankrupt![/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]In a move that comes as no surprise to anyone, Mesa Airlines has filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. The company is reportedly losing 1.4 Billion dollars for every hour it keeps it's doors open.[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]Luckily for Mesa Airlines , many of the company's employees have already jumped to their death. There have been reports, however, of several surviving departments banding together to publicly defecate on the CEO's desk.[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]Mesa Airlines [/FONT][FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]is currently auctioning it's assets off via Ebay. The CFO has come up with an ingenious "penny-for-a-pound" pricing method to determine the auction price of Mesa Airlines 's valuable intellectual property.[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]We asked a top financial analyst from the firm Dewy, Screwem, and Howw, what he thought of Mesa Airlines 's situation, he had this to say: [/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]"I've reviewed Mesa Airlines 's financials and I believe their best option is to start investing heavily in Vaseline. As for the stockholders, my advice is to find the nearest gas oven, stick your head in, and breath deeply."[/FONT]
Not that was funny right there, I don't care who you are!
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