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Marine Joke

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Well-known member
Mar 29, 2005
Difference Between a Marine Officer And a Marine Staff NCO

A young Marine officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade, but the only visible permanent injury was to both of his ears, which were amputated. Since his hearing wasn't impaired he remained in the Marine Corps. Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General. He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance.

One day the General was interviewing three Marines, prospects for his headquarters staff.

The first was a Captain, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the General asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"

The young officer answered, "Why, yes, Sir, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears."

The General got very angry at his lack of tact and threw him out.

The second interview was with a Lieutenant, and he was even better. The General then asked him the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" He replied sheepishly, "Well, Sir, you have no ears."

The General, now really pissed, threw him out also.

The third interview was with a Marine Gunnery Sergeant, an infantryman. He was articulate, looked extremely sharp and seemed to know more than the two officers combined. The General wanted this guy, and went ahead with the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?"

To his surprise the Gunny replied, "Yes, Sir, you wear contact lenses."

The General was very impressed and thought, what an incredibly observant Staff NCO, and he didn't mention my ears. "And how do you know that I wear contacts?" the General asked.

"Well, Sir," the Gunny replied, "it's pretty hard to wear glasses without any ****ing ears."
A kid walks into a bathroom and sees a Marine standing at a urinal. He asks him "wow sir are you a real Marine?"

The Marine nods, smiles, and puts his cover on the kids head. The kid proceeds to stand there and take a leak when a Navy Sailor walks in.

"Gee whiz sir, are you a real Sailor?"

"Sure am" the Sailor replies, "want to suck my d1ck?"

The kid looks at him and laughs, "oh I'm not a real Marine, I'm just wearing his hat."

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