Lawyer joke

[apdsm]

Woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.

The doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did.

He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said that it didn't.

The doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant."

The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"

The doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"

 

[Jedi_Cheese]

That's horrible... I need to use that one the next time that bad jokes come up

 

[Swass]

Brilliant!

 

[Otto Coarsen]

Now you've gone too far...

First Jesus, now lawyers? You gentlemen are relentlessly cruel and evil people. How can you sleep at night. It's one thing if you make a mockery of our lord and saviour and earn yourself an eternity of burning in he||, but lawyers? Are you so bold that you would face a jury of your peers without the priceless guidance of one of these divine souls?

Allow me to quote some personal scripture:

Rosencrantz and Levin 4:22 "Letteth me not stand before thine jury innith a court of law, without mine saviour cloaked in Perry Ellis. May the lord spareith my soul and wallet from the eternal evildoers known as the internal revenue service, and may the grace of Sol Weissberg pursuede my peers not to convictith me for claiming tax exempt status becauseth I'm so broke."





You should all be ashamed of yourselves....

 

[chawbein]

Pertaining to Otto's avatar....

"Can't take the train out of Wichita lessen yous a hog or a cattle. People train runs outa Stubville."

 

[legaleagle]

Finally, a good lawyer joke!

As for Perry Ellis, what's that?

 

[Otto Coarsen]

Perry Ellis = They make suits, sunglasses, perfume, all kinds of cheezy stuff.. (actually some of it's not too bad)



Pertaining to my Avatar; I modified my "signature" line for you..

 

[DIRT]

careful guys... you'll have Legaleagle threatening to fly you up to boston so him and his 160k law degree can kick your a$$ (Remember he's 6'3" and 230 pounds)

Dirt

 

[legaleagle]

Yeah, I was just kidding Otto. I had a Perry Ellis in college. Good stuff. I think I had it in Olive. Wouldn't do that again.

Dirt, I think it was a 46L? Is that about right for 6'3?

 

[legaleagle]

Dirt, I love you bro! I always look forward to your refreshing outlook on life!

 

[DIRT]

"I love you bro"

Legaleagle,

I knew you were gay.

Dirt

just kiddin

 

[legaleagle]

No problem Dirt. Comes with the territory. All hard feelings left aside? Are you CFI'ing? or building time elsewhere?

 

[DIRT]

Legaleagle,

No hard feelings here. I have just been getting raped lately by lawyers, therein lies my current disdain for your profession I fly strictly for fun.

Dirt

 

[TR4A]

Square Balls?

A little old lady went into the headquarters of a large national bank one day, dragging a large bag behind her. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"

The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the heck's the matter with your lawyer?"

"Nothing," she answered, "Except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00AM today, I'd have the president of this bank's balls in my hand."