Late breaking news!

[Dizel8]

In the strange world of the airline business irony often takes a cruel stance. With recent cuts in food service among airlines, airlines like US Airways have reduced transatlantic food service to the barest minimums. Just how bare you say? A recent flight from Philadelphia to Paris which runs around 8 hours of flying time features a meal of…bread sticks and a tomato spread. In a strange twist, transatlantic customers now hope for delays to avoid near starvation after recent cuts in food service. DOT rules require airlines to provide food if a flight is delayed more than two hours, but the DOT does not require a full meal offering on flights of any length. Savvy travelers have figured out this loophole and are now trying to delay flights in order to cash in on a free meal. Some of the most popular tricks involve checking an old, empty suitcase at the ticket counter and then telling agents just prior to departure they did not check any luggage. Caught by positive bag match rules which require a passenger for every bag, airlines must empty the plane's luggage bin and remove the potentially threatening bag. The delay on a jumbo jet can add up to as much as two hours resulting in a free meal for everyone onboard. The two hour delay doesn't seem to bother travelers faced with 8 or more hours of near starvation. "It's worth it for the meal", says John Godfield of Dover, Delaware. "They think they can just keep cutting back perks, but food isn't a perk. It's a requirement. Frequent travelers know the rules and we have to defend our rights."

British Airways, already in hot water with regulators for flying with one engine broken from Los Angeles to the UK , has stumbled again according to documents posted on the FAA's incident website. On March 12 of this year, British Airways flight 184 departed Houston, Texas en route to London. A few minutes after reaching cruise altitude the Boeing 777 aircraft experienced a double engine failure leaving the twin-engined plane powerless. As the plane descended from 45,000 feet to as low as 15,000 feet pilots feverishly attempted to restart one of the airplane's engines. After 7 minutes of near free fall the crew was able to restart both engines and bring the airplane back to 45,000 feet. After consultation with British Airways operations control in London the decision was made to continue on to London despite the near deadly incident. "Both engines were functioning again and we saw no reason to land at that point", said a British Airways spokeswoman. The rest of the flight would not pass uneventfully, however. As the plane passed over Bermuda, a small fire broke out in the rear of the cabin and swept forward engulfing 12 rows of the coach cabin and filling the plane with dense smoke. Passengers ran forward from their seats in the rear of the plane and grabbed oxygen masks which were automatically deployed by the fire and smoke. Eventually flight attendants were able to put out the fire using fire extinguishers and once again the pilots called operations control to ask whether to continue on or land at Bermuda. British Airways representatives felt that since the plane was only 50% full passengers could be relocated from the burned out section of the cabin forward to the front of the plane. Passengers with mild smoke inhalation injuries were given upgrades to Club World for the remainder of the flight. As the frazzled passengers and crew neared London, a winglet on the right wing separated from the plane and hit the airplane's rudder lodging it at a 25 degree angle. British Airways operations control then approved a diversion to London's Luton Airport because of the danger landing the wounded plane at Heathrow could create for the airline's terminal facilities and nearby parked aircraft. Fortunately the plane landed uneventfully at London's Luton Airport, closing another chapter in British Airways recent travails.

Customers will now have more access to Ft. Lauderdale thanks to Delta Air Lines' (NYSE: DAL - News) new, non-stop service from Lexington, Kentucky to Ft. Lauderdale/Hollywood Airport starting June 1. Delta will become the only U.S. carrier that operates the route. The new flight will operate using Bombardier Regional Jets operated by affiliate Comair. The craft carry up to 50 passengers in a single-class configuration, and features Delta's award-winning service. "As Kentucky continues to become an important global destination, Delta's new service will greatly benefit customers traveling between Kentucky and the U.S. Southeast as well as key business centers in the U.S.," said Jorge Fernindez, vice president - International and Alliances. "This new service provides travelers with convenient new connection possibilities to and from popular Caribbean points," said Fernindez. "The service further facilitates trade between the United States and the Caribbean, especially in the high-growth energy and technology industries. And leisure travelers can look forward to visiting famous Lexington stables." Industry analysts looked upon the service with a more jaundiced eye. Robert Withermeyer of Robert, Mead, and Johnson Consulting said, "I think I need only quote Revelation, Chapter 4, Verse 26: 'The horses pulling the coach of the dead will emerge from their stable and rocket across the sky (non-stop) to the sunny fort on the shore. This will be the beginning of the end of all we know.' I think that puts it in perspective."

High fuel prices combined with abundant airline capacity are forcing Northwest Airlines Corp. to scale back its expansion plans yet again. As recently as January, Northwest said it would increase domestic capacity by 2 percent to 3 percent. But by last month, Chief Executive Doug Steanland said the company had reconsidered and would slash growth to zero. On Monday the airline was said it would shrink further, another 4-5% beyond current estimates. Steanland laid out the plan as follows, "the prudent thing right now is to scale back. Fuel is at an all time high right now and we need to be proactive. It is fair to say that the 4-5% decrease in capacity is small, particularly when compared to the 178% growth in our regional jet fleet for the year, but we think it is important to point out that while fuel cost per seat on a regional jet is higher than any other jet aircraft we feel we can make up the difference in volume. Volume is the key. Volume leads to market share and market share could lead to profits, perhaps not now or any time soon or any time we can even envision but the path is very clear and you can either lead or get run over in this business". "As part of the capacity cut back there will be a number of service changes, the following numbers include the painful mainline downsizing combined with the prudent growth of our RJ business, we will be growing our Milwaukee hub by 40% and our new Indianapolis hub will double in size. We will be opening new hubs in Dayton and Grand Rapids. The real pain will be in Memphis and Minneapolis where we will only grow 5-10%. Detroit will grow a healthy 20% as it is the core of our business strategy. All other markets will suffer equally in the cuts with an average of only 10% capacity growth post cut."

New York-based JetBlue threw a spanner in the works of conventional low-cost wisdom when it announced that it not only would add another fleet type, but would be the first low-fare carrier to utilize regional jet equipment. Its June 2003 decision to order 100 Embraer 190s, with options for a further 100, effectively changed the industry rule book. And now the hugely successful airline has outdone itself, announcing that it will acquire yet another fleet type: Concorde. The carrier will purchase and activate 4 aircraft from the retired fleets of both British Airways and Air France, using them to connect its JFK hub with London Luton airport. ``Concorde didn`t make money for BA because they could only get one flight a day out of it,`` explains JetBlue`s irreverent chairman David Kneelingman. ``By avoiding congested Heathrow airport, we will be able to fly the aircraft 3 times a day.`` Kneelingman adds that the carrier will embark on another low-cost first when it and London-based low-cost easyJet initiate codeshare service to destinations the UK carrier serves from its Luton hub. `` JetBlue`s Concorde guests will be able to make one-stop connections to such sun-splashed holiday spots as Palma Majorca and Alicante, on Spain`s fabulous Costa del Sol,`` he enthuses. The carrier has announced that it will retrofit the aircraft to include its award-winning DirectTV inflight entertainment system and that Concorde passengers will of course be able to enjoy its trendy TerraBlue Chips while cruising to their destination at twice the speed of sound. The service is scheduled to commence in time for the summer season and will feature one-way walk-up fares of $250, plus tax.

.

 

[Dizel8]

Every day, a little piece of aviation history takes off in Buffalo, N.Y. and dozens of other cities where Northwest flies DC-9s. Northwest's DC-9s tie it for the oldest fleet among the world's 60 largest airlines. Some less respected analysts say Northwest's 1995 decision to gut and refurbish those DC-9s rather than replace them is helping it weather high fuel prices and competition from low-cost carriers better than most major carriers, while the majority of analysts remain dumbfounded. Unlike most other airlines, Northwest owns a significant chunk of its fleet outright. Northwest says that has given it the flexibility to park unneeded planes during travel slowdowns such as those during the Iraq war and the SARS epidemic. "Putting a plane down is much different when you own it than when you're paying $330,000 per month" in debt payments for a new airplane, said Tom Buck, Northwest's vice president of market planning. Oddly despite record high oil prices, Northwest ignores its own advice and continues flying the gas guzzlers to the point where they are so old they must be broken up for scrap metal used to make soda cans. Northwest's reliance on DC-9s, the aircraft accounts for more than a third of its 432-plane fleet, gives it the second oldest fleet in the world. It is only surpassed by Puntas Arenas Del Sinegal which flies World War I era hydrogen filled dirigibles to off-shore oil platforms carrying toxic waste products. The craft are radio controlled due to their extreme age and the high likelihood of an incident. By contrast, the average plane age of the five other hub-and-spoke airlines is about 10 years old. Houston-based Continental Airlines Inc., which went on a buying spree in the late 1990s, has a fleet that averages just eight years old. The Federal Aviation Administration doesn't care how old an aircraft is, just how many times it has been flown. It measures that by the number of times it has been pressurized and de-pressurized - generally, once per flight. The DC-9, based on testing, is approved for 105,000 of these cycles. Buck said some of Northwest's DC-9s are hitting that limit and are being melted down to make soda cans. Interestingly, major buyers such as Coke and Pepsi refuse to buy the cans saying they are prone to sudden structure failure spewing cola over store shelves, but RC Cola and #1Cola use the can extensively in their 16 ounce Kmart products. In 1995, Eagan-based Northwest began upgrading its DC-9s, updating avionics with high tech niceties such as altimeters and a compass. "The technology just didn't exist these planes went into service", said a former mechanic who asked to have his identity protected. "Prior to the upgrade the pilots would hang a string with a weight on it out the cockpit window to tell how high they were flying." Northwest upgraded the planes' electronic and mechanical systems as well. "It had gotten to the point when we were replacing the wiring it would just turn to dust when your skin touched it. I guess the moisture in your skin just oxidized it on contact. They had all these old yellowed wiring diagrams we were supposed to follow, but we only found about 20% of the wiring that was supposed to be in there. I guess the rest had just disintegrated from age." Northwest also installed "hush kits" so the engines comply with noise limits. "'Hush kits' is a pretty fancy word for it in my opinion. It's just a bunch of old pillows stuffed into the engine casing. I guess it's quiet. The feds they don't look so closely any more you know." Delta Air Lines, Continental and US Airways all once flew DC-9s. "Most airlines have good sense, but others just keep flying and flying the planes, pouring million of gallons of jet fuel away when prices are at record highs," said Greenpeace Representative Hi Fien Rondola. "We don't really care much about business, but even if I take off my 'crazy environmentalist hat' (Hi Fien makes quote signs with fingers) it still seems unbelievably stupid. I'm sure you could feed a cow caviar and lobster and the milk would be good, but it's still stupid." Many of the DC-9s are outfitted with about 100 seats - just right for mid-size markets such as Columbus, Ohio, or Buffalo, N.Y, where a larger plane would risk having too many empty seats. Sadly, though, the airplane has gradually gained weight over time from spot welds to fix structural cracking with patch steel the size of kiddy pools. The increased weight means the plane can only carry 15 people 400 miles or 100 people 4 miles. "Airplane buying used to be driven by money-saving advancements such as more efficient engines or cockpits that required two crew members instead of three, but Northwest just chooses to ignore those factors and blaze its own trail right into an inescapable financial abyss," says Jonathon Nordsteain, of Morgan Stanley.



The judge in the United bankruptcy hearing last Friday summoned Glenn Tiltin and top United executives to a closed door meeting to discuss his looming retirement from the bench and its effect on the proceedings. Judge Reicart released a statement following the meeting, "At the age of 59 I took on the United bankruptcy case fully expecting to resolve it prior to my mandatory retirement from the bench, but as the years have dragged on I have come to the conclusion I may not live to see the end of these proceedings and the prudent thing is to pass the case on to a 30 year old judge that has a shot of wrapping up the case in his lifetime." The new presiding judge will be Alfred Jackson from the Chicago federal court. Jackson immediately asked Tiltin to bring all its consultants, lawyers, forecasts, and forecasting tools to a large basketball arena in suburban Chicago where he would be able to address all the parties involved. Members of the press stood quietly as hundreds of consultants filed into the arena followed by nearly 1,000 attorneys. A large tractor trailer arrived with hundreds of thousands of legal documents as well as an extra large solid gold Magic 8-ball branded with the words "8-Ball Extreme Edition by Blammo". After several hours, Judge Jackson emerged from the arena to the press room to discuss the events of the meeting. "The one thing we could agree on regarding United is that a very profitable airline could be formed just to fly around all of United's consultants and attorneys," said Judge Jackson. "When they unveiled the magic 8-ball I knew we were in trouble. Tiltin actually has a ritual he goes through before each use of it. He gets on his knees and sways back and forth chanting 'oh ball that knows all, give us the answer we seek, we know things look bleak, but into the future we need peek.' There is then a lot of shouting of affirmation by the board of directors and finally they pose a question such as: 'Oh ball, that know all, is our growth done yet with the regional jet?'. Apparently it all has to rhyme. I think a team of the consultants writes this stuff. Fortunately the ball said 'apparently so'. I'm cleaning out these buffoons; give me a couple of weeks."



Delta Air Lines Inc., the nation's third biggest carrier, said Tuesday it will revise its loss estimated for 2005 in light of recent reductions in fares and escalating fuel prices. The airline, which has been trying to cut costs, said in a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission that it expects to lose $8 billion in 2005 and $12 billion 2006 without further cost cuts. Delta earlier this week announced it will eliminate 1,600 to 2,000 Delta jobs in technical operations in addition to plans announced in September to cut 6,000 to 7,000 positions throughout the company over 18 months. Last week, chief executive Gerald Grinsteen told investors at a conference in New York that Delta will have to further cut costs to deal with increases in fuel prices and low fares. "Even with recent fare increases, the damage done from Simplifares is almost irreparable," said Grinsteen. "Losses of $20 billion over the next two years are sustainable without bankruptcy, but we need to increase our cash position from its current $2 billion level to approximately $22 billion to subsidize the losses. We have not yet formulated a strategy to achieve this, but we are confident a core component will involve ordering 400 additional regional jets." In a memo to Delta's technical operations employees, Tony Charaf, the division's senior vice president, said, "We must review our options to survive, to make certain we are doing what we can to keep this airline going. If anyone has $20 billion dollars they don't need or has a friend with $20 billion they could give us that's the kind of help we really need right now." Delta shares fell 2 cents to 6 cents in morning trading on the New York Stock Exchange.

 

[Dizel8]

Airline marketing trendsetters, Air Tran Airways, fresh off a string of profitable quarters propelled by such marketing innovations as onboard Coke with Lime and painting Elton John's mug on the side of their planes have done it again. "These origami napkins are sure to increase revenue", said UBS Analyst Michael Anselmi. "Air Tran sees the potential in spicing up the small things and turning them into market juggernauts. We expect this change to add 15 cents to quarterly earnings." The Origami Napkins ™ are the latest innovation by Air Tran. "These napkins were designed by a Japanese artist working in seclusion in a corner of our Atlanta maintenance hangar", said Robert Fronaro, President of Air Tran. Airline napkin expert, Rita Cudihee gave the innovation four stars. "I designed a lot of napkins in my years in the industry…and maybe a tablecloth or two not to toot my own horn, but these are truly awe inspiring. To think something so beautiful could be constructed from such cheap, flimsy paper boggles the mind", said Cudihee after studying the prototype. Unfortunately the napkins will not be available on every flight, but fear not. Visitors to www.airtranairways.com can track the location of all Boeing 717 and 737 aircraft carrying the napkins using real time flight information only available on www.airtranairways.com. Visitors can also learn about our upcoming "Once in a Life Time Value Sales" which occur every 75 minutes Monday thru Friday and twice on Saturdays.



All off the above can be attributed to Joe Cambron who writes www.theairlinenews.com. Considering the historical date, hopefully he will not mind. Joe, good one

 

[General Lee]

Holy Smoke! I just shat my pants!


Bye Bye--General Lee

 

[CaptUnderpants]

If someone actually reads this AND thinks it's worth knowing, please provide the Cliff Notes version (less than 1000 words). Preferably one or two short sentences.

Thanks

 

[737 Pylt]

If someone actually reads this AND thinks it's worth knowing, please provide the Cliff Notes version (less than 1000 words). Preferably one or two short sentences.

Thanks

What he said!
737

 

[NewBlue]

If someone actually reads this AND thinks it's worth knowing, please provide the Cliff Notes version (less than 1000 words). Preferably one or two short sentences.

Thanks

It has to do with today's date.

Some settling of contents may have occured during transmission.

 

[Makesheepnervus]

Those stories would be even funnier if they weren't nearly so true!

Thanks Dizel8 !

 

[hr2eternity]

Hey Dizel 8 show us your tiTTTS

 

[Jim Smyth]

hr2eternity



Good one!