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If we're gonna' denigrate sex organs, we may as well do it right...

SWA Bubba

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WARNING: Non-Aviation related material!

Just to passs the time while we're waiting for the SWA/Airtran vote to close (cue the long version of the Jeopardy song), let's take up another topic. I've been in a lot of airports over the years (yes, yes, I know, OYS and Gen'l Lee: not as many as you guys), and I've come to the conclusion that men from Colorado seem to have smaller, well,... you know,... whatchamacallits.

Okay, hear me out.

First off, I don't put forth this theory on any observational basis. Repeat: No direct observational evidence was obtained. However, I'm a logical guy (was an engineer before leaving the field for lazier pastures, i.e. being a pilot), and I can't help noticing other, peripheral evidence. Consider this: In every mens room in the Denver airport, in front of every single urinal without exception, there's a puddle of pee, where it looks like the operator didn't quite make it in the goal. Either that, or there's a fresh wipe where some janitor has fought the valiant but futile fight to remove the offensive puddle. This does not appear to be the case in other states. Why is that?

Now I realize that not everyone who pees (and possibly falls short) in a mens room in Denver isn't a Colorado man, and also that Colorado men have been known to pee into urinals at other states' airport mens rooms. However, clearly more Colorado peein' is going on in Denver than other peein' by men from other states. Right?

So, my FI bretheren-- I challenge you. I challenge you to take note next time you're in Denver, of the state of the floor right in front of every urinal in a mens room. Walk right in and check it out yourself. Every friggin' one of them has the puddle! Now that I've pointed this out, you're not going to be able to not notice this. Also note that this is not the case in mens rooms in other states' airports.

I was gonna' exclude you, Zonejumper, on the the basis of the fairer sex and all, but I changed my mind. You too need to go into a mens room in Denver and see the evidence yourself. It's for your own good. Then compare to any other state. There really IS a striking difference.

On the other hand, the whole engineer thing does require me to consider other options. The only other plausible theory I could come up with is that the thinner air at that altitude somehow affects the liquid's ballistic trajectory. Possibly lower bladder pressure from the city's elevation? Does anyone with a ballistics background want to tackle this?

Other than that, or unless anyone has any other theories, we're back to the inadequacies of your average Colorado guy. Bummer.

Comments? Let's please try not to get too personal here.

Bubba (clearly bored after his two-day to DEN)
 

C Festerpuss

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???
Whall now I wiuz down in Georgia one night, can't remember xactly where, with a load of freight and a Diesel-3, an I done going into the outhouse at the FBO an it sez up thar bove that urnial...

"pilots with short stacks and low manifold pressure, please taxi up close..."

I always membered that one..
 

Ty Webb

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Theoretically, a stream of pee should go further in Denver, since the differential pressure between the bladder and the outside air would be greater (due to the lowered external pressure) and the air resistance would be less.

Maybe the phenomenon you are observing is the result of shoddy cleaning practices. . . . or perhaps they're wearing skiis, and can't get close to the wall. ;)
 

SWA Bubba

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Theoretically, a stream of pee should go further in Denver, since the differential pressure between the bladder and the outside air would be greater (due to the lowered external pressure) and the air resistance would be less.

Maybe the phenomenon you are observing is the result of shoddy cleaning practices. . . . or perhaps they're wearing skiis, and can't get close to the wall. ;)

First of all, I'm pretty sure I made it clear that I didn't observe the phenomenon. I only observed the resultant evidence. Also, I was tryin' to give those guys an out! You're not helping them! :)

Bubba
 

zonejumper

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If you think the idea of me entering a mens room is far-fetched, let me assure you..."been there, done that." :0 :eek: :)

I can't go into detail, as I'm off to a going-away party for a former boss....so I'll let you all chew on that for a while!
 

wscrj

Arctic Humboldt
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Fascinating, but what we really want to know is what happens when you pee while on a treadmill?
 

Lear70

JAFFO
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Oct 17, 2003
Posts
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4abeer
You are all clearly going to the wrong bars. In REAL bars in the south... about half way through the night, they fill the SINKS up with ice, too. If you find a puddle under a hand wash basin... that's a serious slacker right there who needs to be JACKED! :D lol
 
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