I dreamed of an airline pilot's career.
In it was the FAA, crew scheduling, bad schedules, bad management, unserviceable aircraft equipment, changing weather, no extra holding fuel, ever-changing procedures, endless flight manual revisions, dead heading in the middle seat, broken and lost luggage, nasty passenger agents, crabby 65+ year old 170 lb. flight attendants that were 4 axe-handle wide, all-nighters, foreign countries, sleep deprivation, mergers, seniority squabbles, company threats, food poisoning, no food, bad coffee, bidding, pulled away from my family for weeks at a time, fleabag hotels, late cabs and maniac cab drivers, bidding vacation, waiting for gates, weather, low visibility approaches, aircraft de-icing, PCs, Gestapo FAA and company check air man, medicals, commuting to and from work in unspeakable weather, the parking lot from Hell, parking lot buses, inter-terminal busses, spring break, Christmas rush, Easter rush, PA "PC" announcements, insurance, unscheduled drug and alcohol testing, noise violations, customs lineups, dry cleaning, terrorism, security passes, rude security personnel, high gas/oil prices, pay cuts, pensions reduced/eliminated, rush hour traffic, that infernal alarm clock, crash pads, catching cold away from home, lackadaisical crew members, sexual harassment threats, flight attendants and co-pilots implying that they are a gift to aviation after being there a year, back biting, gossip, cell phones, aircraft cram courses, plus laying my job on the line several times a year with simulators, quick access data recorders to spy on pilot procedures, endless procedural memorization and Annual Recurrent Training days.
Then I woke up and joyously found myself still retired! Whew!!!
In it was the FAA, crew scheduling, bad schedules, bad management, unserviceable aircraft equipment, changing weather, no extra holding fuel, ever-changing procedures, endless flight manual revisions, dead heading in the middle seat, broken and lost luggage, nasty passenger agents, crabby 65+ year old 170 lb. flight attendants that were 4 axe-handle wide, all-nighters, foreign countries, sleep deprivation, mergers, seniority squabbles, company threats, food poisoning, no food, bad coffee, bidding, pulled away from my family for weeks at a time, fleabag hotels, late cabs and maniac cab drivers, bidding vacation, waiting for gates, weather, low visibility approaches, aircraft de-icing, PCs, Gestapo FAA and company check air man, medicals, commuting to and from work in unspeakable weather, the parking lot from Hell, parking lot buses, inter-terminal busses, spring break, Christmas rush, Easter rush, PA "PC" announcements, insurance, unscheduled drug and alcohol testing, noise violations, customs lineups, dry cleaning, terrorism, security passes, rude security personnel, high gas/oil prices, pay cuts, pensions reduced/eliminated, rush hour traffic, that infernal alarm clock, crash pads, catching cold away from home, lackadaisical crew members, sexual harassment threats, flight attendants and co-pilots implying that they are a gift to aviation after being there a year, back biting, gossip, cell phones, aircraft cram courses, plus laying my job on the line several times a year with simulators, quick access data recorders to spy on pilot procedures, endless procedural memorization and Annual Recurrent Training days.
Then I woke up and joyously found myself still retired! Whew!!!
