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How does this cover letter look??

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Napoleon TNT

Vote For Pedro!
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Posts
149
How does this letter of Rec look??

Tell me what you think, guys...


Ms. Dawn Daniel
Flight Operations Recruiter

ExpressJet Airlines, Inc.

17445 JFK Boulevard
Houston, TX77032



Dear Ms. Daniel:



John Armstrong is a pillar of the community and deserves a slot at ExpressJet Airlines. His extreme excellence would serve our airline in a most exquisite fashion. Basically, you’d be a moron not to seriously consider his immediate hiring and subsequent promotion to executive management.



John has vowed to leave all Midwestern communities he has resided in the past to live in one of our lovely bases making him easily available for any junior manning. Of course who wouldn’t want to live in Houston with its humid hot summer climate and hazy high air pollution, or Newark with its obnoxious Northeasterners, extreme population density and garbage smell, or Cleveland with its city on the brink of bankruptcy and its overcast cloud coverage day after day after day after day during the many winter months.



John is gay. This would mesh well with our many gay male flight attendants. John is looking forward to some long overnights with those certain special galley guys. Gay means happy, right? Happy employees = happy customers = mo money for our fabulous airline. And of course with him not reproducing, no need for the company to provide health care coverage to more little ones.



John is a man of faith. Just the other day, he was telling me how he was looking forward to the opportunity to utilize code share pass privileges to travel to Mecca. He also seems enthusiastic about becoming a Federal Flight Deck Officer so he may “protect the cockpit”. His compassion through his faith has meant numerous past donations to various charities in the Mideast. The only thing about his faith he doesn’t look forward to he tells me is his near prophetic future meeting with 70+ virgin women. Reference the last paragraph. Knowing John though, he’ll have fun trading beauty tips.



John handles mechanical problems very well. He has encountered and successfully dealt with multiple single engine failures in a complex Kia Sportage transportation vehicle. His task driven mentality thrives in those moments, so our underpaid mechanics can take a breather.



I feel John would be a titanic accomplishment for our airlines hiring department. Don’t let this one get away. Just remember if you don’t hire John, I’ll be sick.



Sincerely,









Richard N. Johannson
ExpressJet First Officer



Any changes needed?????
 
Last edited:
what, do believe everything u read? doesn't anyone like to take a joke anymore.. go get laid.. release some pressure.. whatever it takes but hey.. lifes short.. lighten up.
 
bladeusa said:
what, do believe everything u read? doesn't anyone like to take a joke anymore.. go get laid.. release some pressure.. whatever it takes but hey.. lifes short.. lighten up.

I can't argue with that.
 
Danggg! You've got some letter writing skillz.





Can you bring me my chapstick?
 
.....
 
Last edited:
You should use more expletives in the next cover letter you write. F-bombs and C yoU Next Time references really tighten up those future career prospects.

Good luck in the regional airline business. You'll eventually be disappointed.

It's really great to make $20,000 a year as a professional "whatever" we all are.

These Raman noodles taste great.

Thank God management isn't struggling and making six figures a year. If it wasn't for our strong corporate leadership, none of us would be here.
 
Last edited:
405 said:
Good luck in the regional airline business. You'll eventually be disappointed.

It's really great to make $20,000 a year as a professional. These Raman noodles taste great. EVEN AFTER A TWO YEARS!!!

Your a bitter dispatcher
 
HA! That's awesome!! You Da Man!
 
Can you do a cover letter for "The Gaut", the guy from Western Michigan University with his own website promoting himself? That guy would be perfect at Tab Express......


Bye Bye--General Lee
 
General Lee said:
Can you do a cover letter for "The Gaut", the guy from Western Michigan University with his own website promoting himself? That guy would be perfect at Tab Express......


Bye Bye--General Lee

I've met The Guat, without him knowing that I know he is the Guat, he had a website? thats great stuff..Indeed a cover letter would be great.

P1
 
Reserve gets boring, doesn't it?
 
Yeah he most definately had a website, and now he is one the chosen 80 Instructors back at home......watch out.
 
8HourPilot said:
Yeah he most definately had a website, and now he is one the chosen 80 Instructors back at home......watch out.


Ahh, yes the "Chosen 80" sounds like a good band name.
 
Napoleon TNT said:
Tell me what you think, guys...


Ms. Dawn Daniel
Flight Operations Recruiter

ExpressJet Airlines, Inc.

17445 JFK Boulevard
Houston, TX77032



Dear Ms. Daniel:



John Armstrong is a pillar of the community and deserves a slot at ExpressJet Airlines. His extreme excellence would serve our airline in a most exquisite fashion. Basically, you’d be a moron not to seriously consider his immediate hiring and subsequent promotion to executive management.



John has vowed to leave all Midwestern communities he has resided in the past to live in one of our lovely bases making him easily available for any junior manning. Of course who wouldn’t want to live in Houston with its humid hot summer climate and hazy high air pollution, or Newark with its obnoxious Northeasterners, extreme population density and garbage smell, or Cleveland with its city on the brink of bankruptcy and its overcast cloud coverage day after day after day after day during the many winter months.



John is gay. This would mesh well with our many gay male flight attendants. John is looking forward to some long overnights with those certain special galley guys. Gay means happy, right? Happy employees = happy customers = mo money for our fabulous airline. And of course with him not reproducing, no need for the company to provide health care coverage to more little ones.



John is a man of faith. Just the other day, he was telling me how he was looking forward to the opportunity to utilize code share pass privileges to travel to Mecca. He also seems enthusiastic about becoming a Federal Flight Deck Officer so he may “protect the cockpit”. His compassion through his faith has meant numerous past donations to various charities in the Mideast. The only thing about his faith he doesn’t look forward to he tells me is his near prophetic future meeting with 70+ virgin women. Reference the last paragraph. Knowing John though, he’ll have fun trading beauty tips.



John handles mechanical problems very well. He has encountered and successfully dealt with multiple single engine failures in a complex Kia Sportage transportation vehicle. His task driven mentality thrives in those moments, so our underpaid mechanics can take a breather.



I feel John would be a titanic accomplishment for our airlines hiring department. Don’t let this one get away. Just remember if you don’t hire John, I’ll be sick.



Sincerely,









Richard N. Johannson
ExpressJet First Officer



Any changes needed?????


By writing this, you have successfully and simultaneously reduced the IQ of yourself and the collective masses who read this forum. Nice Job.

Also, I have never seen a better argument for investing your time in internet porn than this very post.


Sincerely,

B. Franklin
 

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