How do you take your chili?

[I.P. Freley]

I was going to post a poll, but those things drive me nuts...

Anyway... I'm off for a couple of days, and since it's absolutely freezing outside, I decided to whip up some chili. Almost time to serve it, but I was wondering what you gastronomic experts might think about this topic... And I'll poll inside of the thread instead of posting one!

How do you take your chili...

1- I go to Wendy's and that's good enough for me.
2- I buy frozen chili and heat it up at home.
3- I make my chili from a mix and scarf it down.
4- I start with a mix and then tweak it.
5- I make mine from scratch with canned or packaged ingredients.
6- I make mine from scratch with fresh ingredients.
7- I kill my own cows and start from there.

I'm in the 4-5 category, sizzling up my own meat, using a mix, and tweaking accordingly with some canned stuff. Here's my recipe, more or less:

2lbs ground sirloin, cooked in olive oil, fresh garlic, fresh onions, and red pepper sauce, and fresh-ground black pepper. Drain.

One 8oz can of tomato sauce
Two 14oz cans of diced tomatoes (no salt added)
16oz water
Chili mix. I use Carroll Shelby's mix, but not the masa flour or salt packet....

Mix all of the above and add:

About 12 squirts of Tabasco
1tbsp crushed red pepper
1tbsp chili powder
1tbsp cayenne pepper (in addition to the Shelby mix)
1/2tbsp fresh ground pepper
1tbsp salt

Cook all the above for about three hours, then add a 15.5oz can of red kidney beans for the last 15mins of cooking.

I personally serve it over Uncle Ben's converted rice, since that's the way my mom always made it. I add a little butter, maybe 1tbsp, when cooking.

Serve the chili over the rice with freshly-shredded sharp cheddar, topped with a liberal sprinkling of chili powder.

Anyone have any ideas or recipes they'd like to share? I'd love a good recipe that totally starts from scratch as a starting point... And then tweak it the way I like it.

BTW... Notice I said I'm making this with the knowledge that I have a few days off, so no FO's were harmed in the consumption of this chili!!! LOL

 

[DHPope93]

Sounds good so far, but......

.......where's the cornbread? Since I'm only allowed into the kitchen to make breakfast and make Sweet Potato Pies (capitalized for extra goodness), can I still answer (5) since that's what the wife does?

 

[LXJ31]

I'd put myself in the 4-6 range...

...but I also like to view the chili as something like a right of passage. Sweating is normal. An occasional misty eye. Sinuses purified. Good for the body and soul.

Then my wife had the gall to suggest ground turkey instead of beef. She was banished from the kitchen and forced to wear a burqa.

 

[I.P. Freley]

Heh heh heh... Many moons ago, my mom tried the "ground turkey" thing, but was caught in the act. Let's just say that didn't happen again!

Anyhoo... Of course, cornbread is a staple... And certainly "allowed"... I just didn't make any this time!

How about those who serve their chili over spaghetti?? The first I heard of this was 7 or 8 years ago when I was dating a gal in Cincinnati, and was introduced to Skyline Chili. Great stuff, but SPAGHETTI?? It's actually better than you'd think.

I stick with rice, however.

 

[turboshark]

chili

wendy's wurks fur me. dont furget to add the onions!

 

[billybob]

im a # 6
anyone ever put elk in there chili? it is very good
and whats up with people puting noodles is in chile i think its a crime

 

[Pez D. Spencer]

From an email forwarded by a friend - if you're easily offended by questionable language, don't read it:

CHILI COOK-OFFS NOTE:
Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better. For those of you who may have lived in Texas, you know how true this is! They actually have a chili cook off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome! You will likely want to read this behind closed doors because, if you are like me, you will be howling out loud.

INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER
Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy sh!t, what the hel! is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI# 3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh!t-faced from all the beer.

CHILI # 4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. b!tch is starting to look HOT just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very Impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage, Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

CHILI #6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I sh!t myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. Can't feel
my lips anymore. I need to wipe my @ss with a snow cone!

CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a d@mn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like sh!t to match my d@mn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

 

[Afixedwing]

Call me crazy

But I really prefer Cincinnati-style Chili. Eg. Skyline Chili.

 

[I.P. Freley]

LOL Good one! I'd received that via an e-mail some time back and had forgotten about it.

And hey, afixedwing, I wasn't dissing Skyline. It's good, great even, but just different from what I was formerly taught to "expect" from chili.

Gimme a 5-way anytime! Chili, that is!

 

[TurboHonda]

If you know BEANS about chili, you know that chili has NO BEANS.

Jerry Jeff Walker