How do you prepare your family?

Wolfy

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In light of some of the recent threads involving several crashes with fatalities, I was wondering how does one prepare their family for this kind of eventuality involving you?

If it happened to me, I would definitely not want my family to overeact and lawyer up sueing anything with deep pockets, or cry foul when there is no substanciation for it.

Has anyone ever talked to their spouse, parents, about this? It may be one of those subjects like writing up a will, in the back of your mind you know it may be useful to have, but you find it hard to do anything about it, at least, it feels that way for me.
 

TonyC

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Wolfy said:
Has anyone ever talked to their spouse, parents, about this? It may be one of those subjects like writing up a will, in the back of your mind you know it may be useful to have, but you find it hard to do anything about it, at least, it feels that way for me.
Every time we have occassion to witness family or loved ones responding to a tragedy we have opportunity to discuss what behavior is appropriate. Pointing out the ridiculous antics of others is a great springboard into the "If that ever happens to me, this is what you should do" conversations. Take the time to explain WHY what they see is wrong, and WHY they should behave appropriately. My family thinks I'm the greatest, but they know I'm human, and they won't be running out to hire a lawyer the second they hear of my demise. You also would have never heard them spewing anti-government propoganda had I died in the service of my country. They get it, and for that I'm grateful.





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GravityHater

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Me too.
"Promise me you will abide by my wishes should I die in a crash; I loved what I was doing, I understood and fully accepted the risks, even if it was someone else's fault -- Please Let It Go for the sake of the freedom of future generations of pilots. The last thing that would honor me, and my love of aviation would be for you, my wife, you my parents, you my children to involve either lawyers or the government in my death."
 

TurboS7

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Lot's of life insurance, and make sure there is a "friend" around that will step in and take care of the family when your gone.
 

avbug

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My wife knew what I did before we ever started dating, she knew I started crop dusting out of high school and had been employed doing things that were statistically in a category that might put here in the position of going it on her own. Never the less, such things are never easier, and with each passing, her tension grew. It never eased.

I took pains to see her become as self-sufficient as possible. Turbos7 was correct with his assertion about life insurance. A spouse that is taken care of materially has less need to sue or lash out. (A spouse that is well prepared for also has better reason to see you gone...use some caution and common sense).

No matter what you might think your family might do in your absence, you can only plan for their welfare, not their decision making. Just the same way that you can't sign away the rights of your estate with waivers and covenants not to sue, you can't predict nor control the acts of your wife, mother, father, cat, or pet iguana.

See that they can get by on their own, see that they're taken care of, see that they maintain strong family ties, and buy your wife some batteries...none of us like to admit it, but our loved ones can get along just fine without us.

Given a little time, we really are just dust in the wind...
 

Dangerkitty

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avbug said:
My wife knew what I did before we ever started dating, she knew I started crop dusting out of high school and had been employed doing things that were statistically in a category that might put here in the position of going it on her own. Never the less, such things are never easier, and with each passing, her tension grew. It never eased.

I took pains to see her become as self-sufficient as possible. Turbos7 was correct with his assertion about life insurance. A spouse that is taken care of materially has less need to sue or lash out. (A spouse that is well prepared for also has better reason to see you gone...use some caution and common sense).

No matter what you might think your family might do in your absence, you can only plan for their welfare, not their decision making. Just the same way that you can't sign away the rights of your estate with waivers and covenants not to sue, you can't predict nor control the acts of your wife, mother, father, cat, or pet iguana.

See that they can get by on their own, see that they're taken care of, see that they maintain strong family ties, and buy your wife some batteries...none of us like to admit it, but our loved ones can get along just fine without us.

Given a little time, we really are just dust in the wind...
Also make sure that you have a will. Trust me on this one folks. You don't want the government or estate attornies getting involved in your affairs should you burn in. A will only costs a few hundred clams and really is worth the hassle.

DK
 

TurboS7

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For the family, I don't think it would do you much good.Unless you are on the other side looking in and saying darn wish I had made that will.

On a serious note my wife has been made very independant, now it is to the point at which I wonder what I would do without her. She does everything when it comes to running the house. That is in her name too, and I feel that the family would get along just fine without me.
 

User546

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My family fully understands the hazardous nature of the business, and understand that one day something may happen. A lot of people pretend like its not an issue with their families, but I don't agree with that. We work in a very high risk profession, thats part of the job. I've lost four friends to airplane accidents in the past 5 years, you can't be naive to yourself about it either.

My wife and I sit down from time to time to go over stuff, and make sure she's always in the know about certain things that she may need to know if something happens to me.

I've also written two documents, one with instructions on the handling of my estate, should something happen, and the other is a list of all my bank accounts, credit cards, life insurance policies, IRA's, stock portfolios, assets, and locations of several key items. I keep them both in my safe deposit box, along with my current (updated yearly) Will and Trust.

I had each notarized, and a copy sealed up and given to my mother for her to place in her safe deposit box as well (in case my key can't be located).

Should the need one day arise for them to use this information, I feel confident that everything will go smoothly, and be no confusion or uncertainty as to my wishes.
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Peanut gallery

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This is a little out of proportion

While, I certainly feel that aviation has it's inherent risk, I believe that it is not as high as some of these post imply. The best insurance is to get good rest before flying and conduct yourself in a professional manner. Do not fall into complacency and enjoy every flight with a level of energy that keeps your attention focused at the job at hand. To quote an advertising slogan " the best safety device in any aircraft is a well trained pilot ".
I have lost a few friends over the years, some were flying but most were driving cars. Now as I get older most are not taking care of their health and dying from health issues. Except for certain high risk aviation jobs like cropdusting, the job is really not that dangerous. I think a police job would be far higher.
The good news is that except in rare curcumstances you have the ultimate control over the situation.
 

erj-145mech

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Why is it that when there is a high profile aircraft accident that pilots reflect on their mortality?

You're more apt to get waxed going to the mall or driving to the airport, than in an aviation related accident. Aviation in itself is not inherintly dangerous. Its only as dangerous as you make it.
Take avbugs example of crop dusting. Aerial application aircraft are designed to be more "crash worthy" than the average general aviation aircraft certificated in CAR 3 or 14 CFR 23. There are more crop duster accidents, but fewer fatalities per capita than other part 91 or 135 accidents.
 

User546

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Peanut gallery said:
While, I certainly feel that aviation has it's inherent risk, I believe that it is not as high as some of these post imply. The best insurance is to get good rest before flying and conduct yourself in a professional manner. Do not fall into complacency and enjoy every flight with a level of energy that keeps your attention focused at the job at hand. To quote an advertising slogan " the best safety device in any aircraft is a well trained pilot ".
I completely agree with you, but all that doesn't matter once another pilot isn't ahead of his game and takes you, your aircraft, and passengers, along to his fate.

No matter how you dice it, not many people out there have jobs that have the risk level so high as pilots. Most people don't wake up in the morning, shower, and drive to work knowing that theres a very real chance that there going to be killed while sitting at their jobs today. Pilots are that way, everytime the wheels leave that runway, the risk factor goes way up. And even the most competent and high time pilots get killed while on the job - so no one's immune.

Now I agree you shouldn't sit there and dwell on it, but you got to be realistic with yourself as well about it.
 

Dangerkitty

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TurboS7 said:
For the family, I don't think it would do you much good.Unless you are on the other side looking in and saying darn wish I had made that will.
So you would rather the government decide where your assets and possibly minor children (if you have minor children) go if you and your spouse die?
 

Hawker rider

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My wife truly is so independant now that she doesn't need me anymore.... and she is probably realizing that too...

Anyhow, I do agree with leaving them good when you have that possibility
 

ATRedneck

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Wolfy said:
how does one prepare their family for this kind of eventuality involving you?
1. Have lots of life insurance. Enough to pay off everything twice over, that way your survivors will have a nice nest egg and no debt.

2. Don't be into anything your wife would have a problem with when you're alive, because if you use an airplane to dig a hole, she's going to find out about it when she's tidying up your affairs. Don't save porn on your hard drive, don't have girls' numbers on your cell phone, anything like that.
 
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