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crxpilot

Waaasssuuuupppppp!!!!!
Joined
Nov 26, 2001
Posts
719
How many times have you boarded a plane in uniform to ride in back and the bozo next to you thinks he's dreamed up the perfect comment and says "Oh my, who's gonna fly the plane?!" or my other favorite, in conversation I mention I am going home and they reply, "Oh so youre deadheading." (I find they love to use that term not having the slightest knowledge of the meaning.)
Then of course there is the lady who asks you about an hour into the flight where the plane is "at" (Well let me fire up my GPS brain and I will tell you)
So I know someone has some quick replies to these and others....
 
How about these:

Oh my, who's gonna fly the plane?!


I think Captain Thompson is. I had a chance to talk with him before the flight and he seems like a terrific guy.

Oh so youre deadheading.


Pretty much. Actually, deadheading is when I get paid to fly in the back. I'm just catching a ride this time.

the lady who asks you about an hour into the flight where the plane is "at"


I'm guessing we're over western Kansas now (if you're going from ICT to DEN). What's your guess?

My point is, there are better things to do than treat the paying customers of your ride home with disdain.
 
If you are tired of your job....

Q: "So who's going to fly the airplane?"

A: "Oh, you wouldn't believe the state of automation these days! Don't worry, the autopilot will get us there on time"



Q: "Are you a pilot?"

A: "No, I just have an unusual sense of fashion"



Q: "Is it safe to fly nowdays?"

A: "Well, the weather is bad, the plane is rickety, the pilots are probably tired, and we're going to be sharing airspace with Korean Airlines. Frankly, I put our chances at 50/50. Could you push the flight attendant call button for me? I need a glass of water so I can take my Prozac."



(in the terminal)
Q: "Could you tell me where the flight to Seattle is leaving from?"

A: "If you have a ticket for flight 422 at 4:30, you are leaving from gate A16. If you're on flight 1520, there's just been a gate change. It's now leaving from gate B4. The gate agent's name is Melinda. Make sure to wish her a happy birthday today! You're going to be getting seat 16A, and there will be a light lunch served...."




Q: "Do you like flying?"

A: "I used to, but after the trial, I'm not allowed to leave the airport since I have an electronic bracelet. Excuse me, I think my parole officer is calling."
 
Andy Neill said:
My point is, there are better things to do than treat the paying customers of your ride home with disdain. [/B]

Andy, you're boring...........and so full of it. See how the next post after yours is lighthearted? Its what we call humor.
 
A few simple solutions that avoid "questions" as follows..

1) Don't make eye contact with any pax. ( remember in reality YOU are "off" and don't need to make a lasting impression.

2) Take your seat and look occupied, busy, and maybee just a tad irritated-:D

3) Bring a small personal radio with a headset AND use it-

4) Bring other stuff to keep ya busy and occupied-

5) For the pax that can't seem to figure out that you do not want to be bothered by 20 questions> pax:> "So you are a pilot are ya.??" Pilot:> "Nawwww..... I just dress up certain days of the year, once at halloween and I am just a practicing today. - After this just go back to doing what you were doing and you should be left alone for the remainder of the flight.

:cool:

3 5 0

THX AA for 1st from LAS ! !

PS> for the some who like the "attention" or answering questions then just disregard 1-5 ! ! !
 
crxpilot said:
How many times have you boarded a plane in uniform to ride in back and the bozo next to you thinks he's dreamed up the perfect comment and says "Oh my, who's gonna fly the plane?!" or my other favorite, in conversation I mention I am going home and they reply, "Oh so youre deadheading." (I find they love to use that term not having the slightest knowledge of the meaning.)
how about, "since I'm a paying passenger, why don't you go sit in the jump seat and let me spread out a little?!" ;)
 
Uniforms

No, just tell them that the airline pilot uniform look works for John Travolta so you thought you'd try it as well.
 
I'm with Andy on this one, paying customers are paying customers and how they are treated should be the first priority, as everyones jobs depend on it. So....I'm boring.

Incidentally, my last jump seat ride found me next to a lady who insisted on helping me get through the flight, since "you are obviously afraid of flying, but there's nothing to worry about." That will be the last time I jumpseat in plain clothes.
 
Last edited:
Andy Neill and EagleRJ...you're both right! Yes, it's vital to maintain a professional and respectful bearing when dealing with passengers, even if you're not "working." But there's not reason you can't approach the situation with a little humor.
From Captain E. K. Gann's Fate is the Hunter:
...you do not ask the captain where the ship might be. You say, "Lost again?" The reply is also standard. "Certainly."

Likewise, should you inquire of a line pilot if he has ever been afraid, his answer is bound to be "All the time." Which is another distortion of the truth.
See? Even in 1940 they understood this. Even today, I think passengers expect a degree of quiet, professional humor from pilots. It's part of the image...

...just like having a girlfriend in each domicile... :D

Now, when I am riding in the back and there is a "strange" noise (flaps, gear, etc.) and all eyes turn to me, I can't say I've never been tempted to suddenly grip the armrest with white knuckles and dart wide eyes here and there! But...I guess that wouldn't be very nice.
 
answer to all dumb questions/comments

DILLIGAFF
 
Do I look like I give a flying f***???
 
I have to agree with Andy. While we should never have to put up with verbal abuse from passengers (it happens); we need to remember that without them, we would be doing God knows what.
I have had passengers try to take their frustrations out on me with unjustified comments. I wanted nothing more than to punch them right in the mouth till thier teeth fall out. But the minute you turn your smile into something else, their (and every one around them) perception of you and the rest of us is stained forever. Don't think it doesent matter. Why do you think that Airline Pilots are seen as a bunch of overpaid jerks? Because we act like it.
 
The one I get quite often is "surely you're not old enough to be a captain!" (I'm thirty...but I guess I don't look it.)

I still haven't come up with a charming, witty answer for this one. Any suggestions?

(I guess, "well, they sold me a beer at Rizzo's this morning" wouldn't be a good answer...)
 
The one I get quite often is "surely you're not old enough to be a captain!" (I'm thirty...but I guess I don't look it.)

The best one I can roll off the top of my head would be "Yeah, I get that a lot. . . but I think it's okay, I have a note from my Mom".

I don't think a bit of well placed humor will hurt anyone guys. Lets all kick back and laugh once in a while. Life's not much fun without a smile here and there.

Kevin
 
I once had a guy ask me if I was deadheading or jumpseating, and I said I was non-revving. He may have known what he was talking about, but I think I threw him a curve ball with that one. If he was an airline employee, I think he would have known what I meant.

Don't you really hate it when you are deadheading and the captain flying thinks it's really funny to make an announcement that we have two uniformed crewmembers in back, and their names are ....... and they will be glad to answer any questions you may have... I wanted to sock that guy after that one. Of course the guy next to me saw that as the perfect invitation.

PS, at my prevous company I used to fly on the airlines to get to work, and when people asked me about their gates and stuff I said "I fly cargo." I sometimes still use it if I'm not on my own airline.
 
When I am going to or from work, I sleep, as much as possible. This takes care of the possibility of being dragged into one of those conversations. If I am not sleeping, I am reading. I find most folks leave me alone that way. I know we need the pax to pay the bills, but if I am not on the clock, then I will do the bare minimum that would be considered polite. I understand that doctors and mechanics have the same problem. Even when they are not at work, people want to ask them about some medical problem or what is wrong with thier car.
 
How about when the crew flying would make a hard landing or bounce it in and everyone looks at you, like you were responsible for it. "Hey, don't look at me, I didn't land the plane!"
 

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