Funny S#$T on the Radio

[CitationLover]

i was flying checks into charleston, wv and was talking to company traffic on company freq. or so i thought.

me: hey mark whats up?
mark: nothing, whats up?
me: oh nothing...bumpy as sh!t today.
mark: yeah
CRW approach: whose broadcasting on 119.2?
me: what douchebag is on the frequency?
CRW approac (yelling): who is on 119.2?
me (now realizing my mistake, sheepishly): sorry

dumba$$

 

[clrd4takeoff]

My flight instructor told me about this one.

Miami Center: Cessna 12345 begin your descent now.

Cessna 12345: Roger

A few seconds later:

Miami Center: Cessna 12345, I instructed you to begin your descent. DESCEND IMMEDIATELTY!!!!!

Cessna 12345: Roger, dropping out of the sky like a Bonanza full of doctors!


Too funny!

TL

 

[Wankel7]

I was instructing in VA and was listing to Unicom.

I heard somebody order a pizza. Complete with toppings He also was kind enough to give the credit card number over unicom.

Wankel

 

[corp_da20_guy]

Just the other night leaving the DFW area at approx 7pm the controller was extremely busy and was very "crabby" as a result. After spouting out several clearances and frequency changes (controller had to have been from the NE with as fast as stuff came out of his mouth) all in one breath...Several times he was blocked and got real "snotty" about it telling everyone to literally "shut-up" and let me get airplanes out of here.

Well...once again he issued a frequency change that the callsign was blocked and someone keyed up "blocked"...the controller keyed the mic and said "f**k....[pause]...Falcon XXXXX contact so and so...."

I looked over at the other pilot I was flying with and he looked at me as if we were dreaming. Just our looks confirmed that we had heard what I almost never thought I'd hear on the radio especially from a controller. Was quite amusing actually.

Happy contrails!

 

[great cornholio]

LGA Gnd: "Colgan taxi to runway 4 via Alpha Echo Bravo but don't hit the company Dash crossing at Lima.

Colgan: "Uh ok"

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LGA gnd: "Alleghanyxxxx follow the company Beech 1900 to the ramp"

ALGxxx: "Roger follow the contract carrier"

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Or how about that LGA gnd controller that keeps the Mic keyed way to much. You'll hear stuff like "sorry ground we need somewhere to hide cause we dont have a gate" Then gnd is like "uh ok mmmmm great....jesus.....where can I put you...oh yeah go ahead and taxi to blah blah blah." That guy is great.

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Kinda busy push at PIT a while ago
Colgan: "Colganxxxx gate 7A ready to taxi"

PIT ramp "who is ready to taxi from where"

Colgan: "Colgan xxxx gate 7A ready to taxi"

PIT ramp: "Colgan who where"

Colgan: "Colgan xxxx gate 7A ready to taxi"

PIT ramp: "Ok thats uh Chatauqua...uh I mean Colgan..."

Unknown: "Jesus I'm glad I'm not doing 200kts and having to deal with you"