Funny Pax Story

[ReverseSensing]

Anyways the crew started the engines, did their checks and were ready to taxi when one of the pilots looked in the back and noticed all passengers where gone!! A DHC FA from ATA saw the flames from the engine during startup and decided that the engine was on fire and proceeded to do an evacutation, I kid you not!!

Oh, damn, that's funny. Imagine if they hadn't noticed and landed at their destination with no pax.

"Uh, where'd they all go?"

 

[HatWearer]

Some guy once asked us "do you get to fly around at all or do you just take the ILS all the way there?"

 

[ImbracableCrunk]

I had one unstable pax on the SAAB call it a "flying coffin" as he was deplaning. Another guy said they need to convert these "hunks of junk" to flying freight because that's all their good for.....the Captain replied "well sir, this hunk of junk just got you safely from London to Detroit."

I guess that's what you get when ever white trash looser can now afford to fly. It's now the cheapest form of transportation.

Ha! I think that Cap'n was me. I forgot about that.

 

["GO AROUND"]

Had my FA call me during flight cause a pvt pilot pax on the 120 was very concerned about the fluids leaking out of the cowl. Fortunatly the FA was very familiar with the airplane and normal leaks so was able to tell the pax that it was ok. I guess the pax didn't believe her so he made sure to lecture me on the way out. I told him thank you for his concern, leaks like that are normal but, if it stopped leaking then he should let me know.

Not my story but a friend of mine had a copy of a letter from a pissed off pax put in his mailbox by his CP. Seems the million miler(sp) was upset that the FA(female FO) on the 1900 didn't do anything but sit up front and talk to the capt and rub his leg the whole flight. I have never flown the 1900 so I didn't get the rub his leg part. His FO was flying and the elevator trim wheel is on the left side of the pedestal next to the capt's leg.

I hear the stories from FA's on our ATR's about the passengers that ask if the pilots are going to start the other engine before takeoff when they single engine taxi.

 

[IdRtherBsailing]

a friend of mine was catching a ride to work one day and got a seat in first class. On the way out to the runway the pilots came on and told the pax that they had to return to the gate because they were having problems starting the #2 engine.

An irate pax started complaining to the FA...."Ma'am I am a privot pilot and I know they can take off on One engine and windmill the other in the air" and he was serious.

 

[joefly82]

grow up

For ADAMKOOPER
Do you realize how stupid you sound? Grow up loser.

 

[gator_hater]

Some wise a$$ made a comment about my female captain and the quick FA standing in the galley said, "We she wouldn't quit complaining so I just changed shirts and told her she could fly this leg." Mr. Wise A$$ just walked off with his tail b/w his legs.

 

[DX Rick]

The following happened to an ex-college of mine: Starting up the engines on a Jbal at night. the garreth's can poduce a nice flame. Anyways the crew started the engines, did their checks and were ready to taxi when one of the pilots looked in the back and noticed all passengers where gone!! A DHC FA from ATA saw the flames from the engine during startup and decided that the engine was on fire and proceeded to do an evacutation, I kid you not!!

Was she from mainline? We had one from C8, while enroute to DAY told the captain to declare an emergency and to decend below 10k. She said that she heard a vibration outside the door on the Saab. The crew asked her to check the pins, to make sure they were aligned and she said they were not. The F/O went in the back to find she had all the passengers moved to the back 2-3 rows incase the door blew off. The FO checked the pins, and they were all good. He listened for the vibration, and she pointed it out to him. It was the engine.

I gave her a ride one day from the terminal to the GO one night, she said she quit SWA because the 737's were too unsafe, and she had quit. She also told me she had a boyfriend that has attempted to kill her. Too bad, because she was the best looking FA we had ever hired.....just psycho. (Well, not as good looking at M.T..You C8 guys know who I am talking about).

When in SBN on a 25 minute turn, MX control gets a phone call from our MX base over there. The mechanic asks about an A/C swap that the F/A initiated. The door was a little sticky while closing it and she was tired of fighting with it, so she told OP's and mx that they're swapping out AC, and told mx to bring another airplane from the hangar on over.
I called the Captain to find out what was going on, and he had no idea she was doing this. She got an arse reaming from Ops, DX, Mx, Mx Control, F/O Captain and Inflight Supervisor.

She flew with the most senior line pilot and VP one day, and that was the last time she flew. I don't remember what she did exactly but she pulled something stupid and she was done for.

 

[capt. megadeth]

I had one unstable pax on the SAAB call it a "flying coffin" as he was deplaning.

ROTFLMAO! I love it!

 

[capt. megadeth]

(Well, not as good looking at M.T..You C8 guys know who I am talking about).

MT???? You mean bleach blonde MT??????
Who was the psycho FA you are referring to? Tell me tell me!

 

[pilotyip]

Flying the C-47 for the Yankee Air Museum, I had to shut down the left engine for a loss of oil pressure. I had normal shutdwon and diverted to FNT the nearest airport. While in the descent into FNT, a passenger came up and told me the engine on my side wasn't going around any more. I thanked him and told him I would explain later.

 

[pilotguy733]

After a flight to GSO, I was saying goodnight to the PAX as they deplaned. One older PAX towards the end, mentioned that I had forgotten to close the wing completely. (WTF??)

I had a puzzled look on my face, verified her statement, and let the rest of the PAX get off as tried to figure this one out. Again, she reiterated that I had neglected to close the wing fully.

Finally - my light bulb went off in my head - we had used the speed brakes during our descent. I made a hand motion illustrating the action of the speed brakes on the wing, and lo and behold - I was right. I politely (without laughing mind you) explained that this was normal, and it helps us slow the plane down.

Next time I'll be sure to close the wing!!

 

[rightrudder]

How about a stupid jumpseater story? When I was at QX flying the Dash, there was an AA jumpseater who had rode on the jumpseat on one of our flights. He had noticed that the crew set the power above the "bugs" during much of the flight. Instead of asking about it, this moron called the FAA. Too bad he didn't ask, power settings were not done by reference to the "bugs" but by ITT setting. Nothing came of his complaint, but what a d0uche!

 

[DX Rick]

MT???? You mean bleach blonde MT??????
Who was the psycho FA you are referring to? Tell me tell me!

Bleach Blonde? I dont know, I dont care. I never noticed her hair, just saw the face, butt, chest or rest of her. She was hands down our best looking FA, especially at her age....except for the one who looked like a Nerdy Libraian. I can't remember her name at all.

The psycho was named Michelle. She was there for maybe 2-3 months. Her boyfriend at the time had a 60 something Nova, former mechanic. Can't remember his name either.....j/k!!!!!

 

[Mike man]

Here is one from the Stupid Jumpseater files...(this was told to me by a friend, who knows the CA and FO)

An AA jumpseater on a jumpseat on his way to work, really nice guy--until the plane left the gate. Then this guy starting talking smack about the "Express" guys and that mainline doesn't like express guys in the cockpit due to a lack of professionalisim and so on. Nearing the hold short line the CA keys the mike and tells ground they need to return to the gate, they did and left again--minus the jumpseater.

 

[pilotyip]

Mike O. what a jumpseater breaking sterile cockpit below 10K? Talk about unprofessional.

 

[propjockey]

I didn't read page three, so I hope this isn't a repeat...

I had one passenger get on the plane who, hearing the clattering of the fan blades as the engine windmilled, was deeply concerned that the bearings in our engines were going bad.

 

[Dirty Sanchez]

Last I heard, she was working on her instrument rating. What a piece of work. I was trying to jump out of Minny once down to Mem and she was a non-rev and somehow I managed to piss off the Gods and ended up sitting next to her. She matter-of-factly told me she was going to get a job at the airlines after she got her commercial license because she was a woman and a minority and she wouldn't need to waste time instructing.

I have always heard "knockers open doors".

 

[mullet]

I found out recently this guy had died from Aids or some other STD so I consider that payback.

Good lord, you are a total a$$. Please dont breed.

 

[blueridge71]

A story I heard at ACA from the Jetstream 31: The crew was in flight when they started having sporadic and intermittent failures. They would start running the checklist and then the failure would go away and something else would fail. They would run that checklist, that problem would fix itself, and something else would happen. This cycle repeated over and over.

Finally, one of the pilots looked back toward the cabin (like a Be 1900there was no cockpit door) and solved the problem. An unaccompanied minor in the first row was pulling circuit breakers, then resetting them, then pulling another.
-------
Comments heard on the Jetstream 41:

Did they just weld the bomb bay doors shut after the last war?

Why does it have props? The boarding pass says JETstream.

 

[Occam's Razor]

A story I heard at ACA from the Jetstream 31: The crew was in flight when they started having sporadic and intermittent failures. They would start running the checklist and then the failure would go away and something else would fail. They would run that checklist, that problem would fix itself, and something else would happen. This cycle repeated over and over.

Finally, one of the pilots looked back toward the cabin (like a Be 1900there was no cockpit door) and solved the problem. An unaccompanied minor in the first row was pulling circuit breakers, then resetting them, then pulling another.

About a year ago my F/O let a little kid up into the cockpit in MIA while I was getting the paper work. Instead of keeping an eye on the little terror, the F/O was ogling the kid's mom's well-structured chest. The kid starts punching pb's and manages to deploy the RAT.

Bonus: We took the mom with us to MIA ops to do the logbook write-up, and it was really cold in there!

 

[SeanD]

This happend to my dad who is a retired 757/767 CA. After a flight from LAX to IAD where the weather was pretty bad so naturally it was a rough ride down. After they landed and the pax we getting off my dad had the pleasure of being at the door while the FO remained in the cockpit shutting down the airplane ect. An ass**** pax decided to confront my dad about how horrible that flight was and how sick it made him and how bad of a pilot he was yada yada. Half way through his rant the guy puked all over my dads coat and shirt and then had the balls to tell him "Now you all owe me another lunch". My old man thanked him and wished him a good day. I dont think I would have that kind of control not to bitch slap this individual. Anyone else?

 

[414Flyer]

Here is one from the Stupid Jumpseater files...(this was told to me by a friend, who knows the CA and FO)

An AA jumpseater on a jumpseat on his way to work, really nice guy--until the plane left the gate. Then this guy starting talking smack about the "Express" guys and that mainline doesn't like express guys in the cockpit due to a lack of professionalisim and so on. Nearing the hold short line the CA keys the mike and tells ground they need to return to the gate, they did and left again--minus the jumpseater.

Sounds like this woman in hawaii back in 98/99 timeframe that got banned from jumpseating on Hawaiian due to critiquing a DC-10 captain on his flying, while she was in the jumpseat