Funny Pax Story

[Kip Dynomite]

A friend of mine at the company I work for told me a pax waited till everyone had deboarded and then peeked in the cockpit to inform he and and his captain that he would be notifying the FAA and company of a FAR they had broken. He proceeded to explain how they had broken the 250 knot speed rule below 10,000. He said he was a general aviation pilot and there was no way the flight could have taken only one hour, it should have taken at least 2 1/2 hours by his calculations. When asked how he was so sure they were below 10,000 he told them the altimeter on his watch showed roughly 7,000. The captain told the pax thank you and to go right ahead. Any other funny stories like this out there. I get a kick out of them.

 

[Instinct]

A friend of mine at the company I work for told me a pax waited till everyone had deboarded and then peeked in the cockpit to inform he and and his captain that he would be notifying the FAA and company of a FAR they had broken. He proceeded to explain how they had broken the 250 knot speed rule below 10,000. He said he was a general aviation pilot and there was no way the flight could have taken only one hour, it should have taken at least 2 1/2 hours by his calculations. When asked how he was so sure they were below 10,000 he told them the altimeter on his watch showed roughly 7,000. The captain told the pax thank you and to go right ahead. Any other funny stories like this out there. I get a kick out of them.

Well, at least his watch is working properly!

 

[av8rjo]

Accurately measuring CABIN altitude I presume.

 

[arthompson]

the GA pilot that knows everything....gotta love him

 

[avl_pilot]

The other day I had a guy come up to me and my capt. and tell us how mad he was that a couple of his flights had been cancelled. About five minutes later into his rant he told us that with all his flights being cancelled he had lost enough money to buy "one of those puddle jumpers" (refering to the Dash). He went on to say that the puddle jumper would run about 500,000. Just thought it was funny how he just picked 2 random pilots to disclose this to.

 

[SEVEN]

I wonder if this MORON has ever heard of a tailwind.

 

[DoubleDown]

I over heard a passenger boarding the Q400 and say, "Its amazing how well they converted these WW2 bombers for passenger service."

 

[IHateMgmt]

Well, this isn't Px, but the original post reminds me of a FA at my old airline. She was the one that NOBODY wanted to fly with. Anyways, one day after deboarding she walks up to the cockpit and informs the crew she will be writing them up. They of course ask why and she says she got an altimeter watch because she had suspected them of chiming her too early for the 10,000ft chime, and sure enough she claimed they were consistently chiming her at 3,500ft! Both pilots start laughing and one informs her that we are flying in a PRESSURIZED cabin and therefore the cabin altitude is less than the actually altitude! She also had a history of blowing the slides on the AVROs. I heard that she finally quit a little while ago. Any of you XJers (particularly MEM) know if this is true?

 

[SEVEN]

I had one unstable pax on the SAAB call it a "flying coffin" as he was deplaning. Another guy said they need to convert these "hunks of junk" to flying freight because that's all their good for.....the Captain replied "well sir, this hunk of junk just got you safely from London to Detroit."

I guess that's what you get when ever white trash looser can now afford to fly. It's now the cheapest form of transportation.

 

[ERfly]

The other day I had a guy come up to me and my capt. and tell us how mad he was that a couple of his flights had been cancelled. About five minutes later into his rant he told us that with all his flights being cancelled he had lost enough money to buy "one of those puddle jumpers" (refering to the Dash). He went on to say that the puddle jumper would run about 500,000. Just thought it was funny how he just picked 2 random pilots to disclose this to.

Sounds like the woman who was yelling at me about her gate change as I was just randomly walking through the terminal (the words she used were "Why did YOU change my gate?") Yes, lady, I knew you were flying today and I get a kick out seeing you having to go from 63 to 63A.

 

[ERfly]

Well, this isn't Px, but the original post reminds me of a FA at my old airline. She was the one that NOBODY wanted to fly with. Anyways, one day after deboarding she walks up to the cockpit and informs the crew she will be writing them up. They of course ask why and she says she got an altimeter watch because she had suspected them of chiming her too early for the 10,000ft chime, and sure enough she claimed they were consistently chiming her at 3,500ft! Both pilots start laughing and one informs her that we are flying in a PRESSURIZED cabin and therefore the cabin altitude is less than the actually altitude! She also had a history of blowing the slides on the AVROs. I heard that she finally quit a little while ago. Any of you XJers (particularly MEM) know if this is true?

Rumor has it that we have one at our company that had to get the FOM changed. The "10 Minute Bell" is now called the "Manuvering For Landing Bell" because that person would start a timer and b*tch out the cockpit if they weren't on the ground in 10 minutes.

 

[737 Pylt]

A friend of mine at the company I work for told me a pax waited till everyone had deboarded and then peeked in the cockpit to inform he and and his captain that he would be notifying the FAA and company of a FAR they had broken. He proceeded to explain how they had broken the 250 knot speed rule below 10,000. He said he was a general aviation pilot and there was no way the flight could have taken only one hour, it should have taken at least 2 1/2 hours by his calculations. When asked how he was so sure they were below 10,000 he told them the altimeter on his watch showed roughly 7,000. The captain told the pax thank you and to go right ahead. Any other funny stories like this out there. I get a kick out of them.

Years ago, I had a pax tell me he was going to write a letter to the FAA becuase in the Jetstream we had failed to do a "mag check and run up."
737

 

[XJ-spartacus]

I also had someone years ago come up after a flight and tell us we should do a run-up. He was a nice enough gentleman, but said it wasn't safe to just take off without doing a run up. I explained that we had turbine engines and he just replied that he wasn't mad but we really should check the engine before taking the runway. I then thanked him for being so understanding and he went on his way. We then promptly erupted into laughter. Sometimes it's those little moments that make my day that much more entertaining.

-Spartacus

 

[Rook]

I had one unstable pax on the SAAB call it a "flying coffin" as he was deplaning. Another guy said they need to convert these "hunks of junk" to flying freight because that's all their good for.....the Captain replied "well sir, this hunk of junk just got you safely from London to Detroit."

So Paul Foley was nonrevving to DTW from London huh? A few years ago when I was an F/O we had a delayed departure out of PWM. My CA for the flight wasn't a big proponent of CRM so I suggested doing some P/A announcements to tell the folks about deicing delay and the ground stop for DTW we were experiencing. After deplaning in DTW I helped some of the XJ rampies get the carry-ons onto the jet bridge. Some tool decided to let me know that was the worst flight ever and walked away. Without missing a beat I yelled up at him, make all your complaints to Northwest airlines. He told me he was an NWA pilot (non-revving out of uniform) so I just said, write a letter to 'Dick' Anderson. Thought the guy would have a brain aneurysm after that gem.

Rook

 

[B1900FO]

Funn pax

I was giving my usual passenger briefing after everyone boarded, and since it was an early morning leg and I was a little tired I stumbled over a few of my words. Anyways, as I went through the cabin to make sure everyone was all set a guy looked at me and said "are you really a pilot or did you stay at a holiday inn express last night?" Everyone was laughing so hard. They were probably the best group of passenger I've had on board.

 

[sleddriver77]

Recently had a guy do the same thing, with the "speed violation." He waited until he was the last one off, and mentioned that we'd "busted" 250 kts below 10K, and he'd be letting them know. I asked how he'd be able to tell that, and he said he'd had a handheld GPS with him. I reminded him that GPS's show GROUNDSPEED, we had a huge tailwind, and that the altitude fuctions of portables are notoriously innaccurate. Then I asked him if he wanted us to deal with his intentional breaking of the P.E.D.'s FAR now, or after we heard from the FAA. He quietly left.

 

[whaleroast]

Well, this isn't Px, but the original post reminds me of a FA at my old airline. She was the one that NOBODY wanted to fly with. Anyways, one day after deboarding she walks up to the cockpit and informs the crew she will be writing them up. They of course ask why and she says she got an altimeter watch because she had suspected them of chiming her too early for the 10,000ft chime, and sure enough she claimed they were consistently chiming her at 3,500ft! Both pilots start laughing and one informs her that we are flying in a PRESSURIZED cabin and therefore the cabin altitude is less than the actually altitude! She also had a history of blowing the slides on the AVROs. I heard that she finally quit a little while ago. Any of you XJers (particularly MEM) know if this is true?

Last I heard, she was working on her instrument rating. What a piece of work. I was trying to jump out of Minny once down to Mem and she was a non-rev and somehow I managed to piss off the Gods and ended up sitting next to her. She matter-of-factly told me she was going to get a job at the airlines after she got her commercial license because she was a woman and a minority and she wouldn't need to waste time instructing.

 

[Turkey Shoot]

I like it when the pax call your termination on the way out the door. DH in for a plane thats already loaded and waiting when I DH in, walk across the ramp and load my crap while 50 sets of eyes watch. Takeoff and promptly start holding (due to 0/0 at LGA), hit bug out fuel and divert. Get fuel and takeoff again. No problems, straight in and land. IT'S BEAUTIFUL! Not a cloud in the sky of course.

Several passengers leaned in on the way and to tell me they would be calling US Airways to ask for my termination. Had to bite my tongue so as not to offer the proper spelling of my name.

 

[FN FAL]

On a 135 flight, I was flying a Navajo and an extra passenger who joined us on the return leg, tapped me on the shoulder and pointed out the MSN airport and asked if we were landing there. Which I thought was kind of dumb question, since that's where this flight originated from. I told him yes and he replies, "We can land at a commercial airport?"

 

[Axel]

Our CP gat a nastygram from a pax complaining that the "stewardess" on the Jetstream did not serve the pax, but just "closed the door, then sat up front talking to the pilot" the whole trip.

 

[suupah]

A lady opened the door and came out on the ramp at the G Gates at IAD as I was preflighting. She waved me over and demanded that I tell her where Jacksonville was. I politely replied "I believe it is in florida" I continued pre flighting

 

[AdamKooper]

This isn't pax story but we had some homo fa that was flaming like a housefire. Anyway we had the door open and the captain and I were just talking about BS. We started to talk about another FO on the plane that was a Gulfstreamer type who couldn't land without help from the captain. Well Mr Homo in the back thought we were talking about him and assumed we were bashing his gayness. I get called into the CP office a few days later to explain myself. Nothing happened since he didn't have a case or anything and he had written people up for the same reason before only to have no evidence to support him. I found out recently this guy had died from Aids or some other STD so I consider that payback.

 

[RichardRambone]

I found out recently this guy had died from Aids or some other STD so I consider that payback.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Thats the d!ckest thing I've ever read!! BWAHAHAHAHA!

 

[SiouxHockeyFan]

During the good ole days at PDT we used to get pax quite often that would say "Is this thing safe to fly on? It doesn't have jet engines." I just always wanted to be an a$$hole and say "No it is the most unsafe airplane, but my captain, FA, and I just love risking our lives multiple times a day just so we can say we are airline employees." It is well worth the travel benifets. I thought maybe that would change with the RJ, you know jet bridges, jet engines, the shininess. NO! Now they just say "This puddle jumper is smaller than the last one we were on, it is so small." Once again I just want to tell them I deal with the "smallness" every day. Tell you the truth, the Mighty Dash is much safer than the tin can with bottle rockets for engines aka the CRJ.

 

[AdamKooper]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Thats the d!ckest thing I've ever read!! BWAHAHAHAHA!

What on earth does that mean?

 

[Doubleo6point9]

Not my story but one of my old college professors told us this story. Boarding up some pax on a Dash 8 and in the middle of a checklist when one of the pax stick's his head in and announces to them that he's a pilot as well. The captain was in a good mood so he was trying to be nice about it and asked him what ratings he had. Guy spouts off about how he's a private pilot with an instrument rating and that should any emergency arise he'd be in the back and they shouldn't hestitate to call him. The captain decides to play along and asks if he's got his mutli yet only to get a "nope not yet" from the guy. At that point the captain says with a big smile "alright then, well if we ever down to only one engine i'll be sure to give you a call first!". Apparently the pax was pleased with that answer and walked back to his seat as they were laughin their a$$ off in front.

 

[whaleroast]

What on earth does that mean?

Admit it, when you were dancing for your CP, you wished death on the homo FA. And it happened.
That's what he means.
Still pretty funny though.

 

[flyburg]

happened to me once on the ol' jetstream. A passenger sitting om seat 1a, his head in between us the entire way claimed we didn't know where we were going. As I asked why he stated that the STBY compass was of more than 30 degrees the whole flight. Guess he missed the note right under the STBY compass which said "reading are not accurate unless both GEN's are off" or something to that effect.

The following happened to an ex-college of mine: Starting up the engines on a Jbal at night. the garreth's can poduce a nice flame. Anyways the crew started the engines, did their checks and were ready to taxi when one of the pilots looked in the back and noticed all passengers where gone!! A DHC FA from ATA saw the flames from the engine during startup and decided that the engine was on fire and proceeded to do an evacutation, I kid you not!!

 

[AdamKooper]

Admit it, when you were dancing for your CP, you wished death on the homo FA. And it happened.
That's what he means.
Still pretty funny though.

For the that stunt he pulled, He got what was coming ot him.
But I doubt me wishing that had anything to do with it. If that were the case there wouldn't be anyone left alive for all the death wishing I do.

 

[hammer2]

High time king air pilot wrote AA and complained the pilots didn't use the 3rd engine on a 727. Ops sent him the performance data - one engine and told him to take a flying leap.