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Do the Colgan

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Colganoscopy

Just remember to remind your friendly neighborhood dispatcher/scheduler that the COLGANOSCOPY is supposed to only be a single digit test. I SAID SINGLE DIGIT DAMNIT.
 
I've had a good month though. My Colgan induced Torrets has calmed down. Perhaps it is because I am holding a line and I don't get those (703) phone calls at 4 am anymore.
 
seeing a really sweet paint job on an A model then climbing in it to find out the radios are out of your flight schools 1973 Cessna 150. ...flying the same airplane or not flying it cause it never works.

I love this job as well, doin the colgan is half the fun!!!!
 
How about finish training and wait 3 weeks for your first full check only to get a $98.00 paycheck because "some on" didn't add you to payroll. Oh yea, the same time your closing on a new house and needed check stub verification for employment.

Doing the COLGAN.
 
Prop2Jet said:
MEL... MEL... Jingle all the Way, DING DING DING high oil temp send out resumes. hey!... MEL... MEL... MEL it all, did not see it did not hear it da kremlin is on its way hey! DMI it, CDL it who give a shhit about it, fly part 91 da kremlin is on it way hey! Ferry Permit, TDY it, you will not get paid fly this piece of swedish trash and please make sure you don't crasssssshhhhhh! Hey!

That is probably the single funniest post I've seen on here.

Nice Job
 
heywatchthis said:
How about finish training and wait 3 weeks for your first full check only to get a $98.00 paycheck because "some on" didn't add you to payroll. Oh yea, the same time your closing on a new house and needed check stub verification for employment.

Doing the COLGAN.

I REALLY want to see the conversation with the loaning bank:

clpilot: "proof of employment? Here you go beeatch. I'm an AIRLINE pilot."

(loan officer): "wtf is Culligan air?"

clpilot: "it's basically the same as US Airways"
 
"is this thing safe? Does it even have a bathroom?" Ummm, I wonder what these pilots did to fly this thing!
 
when you get a plane that the hydraulic pump doesn't work in automatic, so it get's mel'd and you have to use it in manual to bring up the gear each time. Then you read the mel and it say to check the hand pump to make sure it works. So you check the hand pump and find out that the piece where the handle slides into the floor in the pump is cracked in half and doesn't work........ and was broken by a mechanic a few weeks ago but never reported or fixed.......... do the colgan
 
35AW, sweet paint job.......... it has a body by nautilus and brains by mattel..... the sextant is behind the FO's seat in the place of the PBE
 
boarding and deplaning three times at hya cause of groundstops and wheels up times being changed right as you are taxiing away....not colgans fault but still felt like we were doin da colgan
 
70 degrees 34 pax onboard 600 checked bags 200 carry-on had to de-fuel the plane to be legal, 30 mins late for push and board due to The brain factory not knowing what plane to take to ALB Beacon on Called for push....what, who's that, oh no, What the H**L Does Maintenance want what LC1??? No, plane IS going to ALB! NO PLANE DEAD. Call Brain Factory again OH YA we just found out plane is a pumkin needs LC1, BEFORE YOU GO. Delay our pax another hour. AHHHHHH Do the Colgan
 
You get your release and there is an unknown MEL on it. Call dispatch and they say, oh yeah, sorry I guess we put it on the wrong airplane. Now which one was that supposed to be on? Do the Colgan...
 
Colgan cleared for takeoff..... colgan cancel clearence and call ops...... colgan return to gate to get FA that needs to be on the plane to fly afternoon pairing..... DO THE COLGAN.................

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
on another note. colgans 2nd year fo payon the saab is 23. the industry standard amongst prop operators seems to be fo gets paid 60% of what the captain gets. Colgan's rate is a little low.
 
I will have a word with the union reps and see if we can set up a meeting with the Bob's and see if we can get that pay rate increased.
 
Write up a plane in BOS. Last day before my 3 days off. Call Nicole, give her the news that the plane is dead in the water. She converses briefly with our other chief pilot, mikey, and tells me to run up to the terminal. We are DH to DCA, van to Dulles, DH to AOO. Picking up a plane and bringing straight back to our base. Somehow make it to AOO, take-off, call the times in and ops says to hold over the airport, they may need us to come back. The Beech on the ground broke. Hold for 45 minutes and they say yup come back. Find out we're now flying the AOO-IAD trip. Land p/u people go to IAD. Finally going home. Big plans on my day off the next day. Not so fast young man, this is colgan F'in air. You're going to HYA. We're gonna need you to fly the first flight out of HYA but we'll have you home on your day off by 2pm at the latest, so its not that bad. And because the initial cancellation was MX I ended up making less pay credit than my originally scheduled day. Sweet. Do di da do
 
Loaded up with a full boat ********************t-taco rj 170 bit it, COLGAN to the rescue can we get all 34 to lga on time????? NO, Colgan hold short and call ops. Colgan dispatch says return to the gate because you have a battery on board that has expired....WHAT??? Ok first flight of day LEAVING A Freakin maintenance base where it sat all night and some idiot relized after we were boarded ready to depart that the battery was expired. OK return to gate take 34 off maintenance changes the battery and says.......Battery was good until January 17,2007..YA YOU HEARD IT...............DO THE COLGAN
 
WHO the Heck puts the friggin World Cup on in the Breakroom at LGA .Couldn't find a darn rampy all day! One damn air cart and not a rampy in sight. I mean load your own bags,bring down your peeps, hook up the tug. The only thing we can't do is push the damn SAAB out of the spot.

How about we invest in a damn TIVO so they can push us back and then go back to the game!!
 
We do what we can with Maint, when parts are AOG and not in stock, don't blame the mechanics. We do care about the Planes and you guys/gals flying them, try complaining to planning and purchasing for a change.

Saab Guy
 
Saab guy said:
We do what we can with Maint, when parts are AOG and not in stock, don't blame the mechanics. We do care about the Planes and you guys/gals flying them, try complaining to planning and purchasing for a change.

Saab Guy

what would you consider doing the colgan at the maintenance end of stuff?
 
robbing parts, robbing parts, why does purchasing sit around and fart? where are my parts? don't worry they will be in stock the day the MEL drops but don't worry about spinning the props just let them turn till the MEL drops. da do do do da colgan!

But like I said we do what we can with what we have.

Peace to all you crews!

Saab Guy
 
Colgan has the best freaking mechanics in the industry. Those guys fix airplanes without having any parts. OK, make that the best freaking magicians in the industry.
 
uhmmm yeah. well, i am sure the maintenance guys hold wizard licenses cuz they keep these things flying. tho i am sure it is always crisis management, which i bet gets tiring.
 

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