Right Rudder,
I agree with you about the petty sexist remarks. Except the years that I spent at JAL, I have flown with many, many women in both airline and military operations. Most are great to fly with and some need a little help. I don't think that is any different from flying with a man. Most are great to fly with and some need a little help.
I think the penis envy is usually generated by the 20ish to 30ish male, in my observation. Although, I am hearing less "empty kitchen" remarks on the radio, it is still there and I know who is saying it. It's not professional.
On the other hand, I don't agree with you about letting it go, and here's my reasoning.
Cheap, petty back-stabbing has no place in the operations area. If she wants to go home or to a party and bad mouth the entire roster, it's her right to do so, but not on company property. It can lead to a breakdown in company morale and erode flight deck performance, which can eventually have dire cosequences.
I don't think, however, he should approach this person in a hostile manner. I think he should think about what he will say, and politely let her know that he feels badly about offending her, and he wants to make it right between them. Bingo! She's been put on notice that she didn't get away with her petty crap, but he is willing to be a professional about it. It is a lesson in maturity for the both of them. One gets experience in dealing with conflict. The other gets a lesson in opening her trap in the wrong place (maybe).
Just my opinion. However, as a CP, if you came to my office with it, I'd throw you out and say work on it yourself. That's just me, though. Todays CP may have to contact HR to determine if this is sexual harassment. It will get blown out of porportion, and both reputations ruined.