CFI War Stories

[InstructorPuke]

I have recently retired from the CFI industry and was just wanting to hear any other CFI experiences. Scary aircraft or scary students.
After 6 yrs I had 3 bird strikes, an engine fire on take off, a student retracted the gear in a 310 after landing, as well as several other minor occurances. After all the learning and a few grey hairs I still had fun.

ip

 

[na265]

One of my first students was an Indian(from India). He would not go out and do stalls. I told the boss the story and his reply was, " make that sob do or don't come back!" So, I did. He had eaten A LOT of curry or some vile food before the flight. It was a hot, bumpy West Texas summer day. You guessed it, he looked right at me and threw-up all over me, the instrument pannel and anything else that was in my speedy 152. I flew back with the window open and all that vomit actually dripping off of me and the yoke. It was a flight I will never forget!

 

[banned username 2]

One of my first students was an Indian(from India). He would not go out and do stalls. I told the boss the story and his reply was, " make that sob do or don't come back!" So, I did. He had eaten A LOT of curry or some vile food before the flight. It was a hot, bumpy West Texas summer day. You guessed it, he looked right at me and threw-up all over me, the instrument pannel and anything else that was in my speedy 152. I flew back with the window open and all that vomit actually dripping off of me and the yoke. It was a flight I will never forget!

YUCK! I would have barfed right along with him! Thats disgusting!!!!!

 

[bobbysamd]

Willful and unhygienic students

I had a student at Mesa Airlines who defied my cross-country signoff. I had signed him off from Farmington to Grand Junction, or something like that, with landings only at Grand Junction. Wx was forecast to include moderate to severe turb, with the possibility of thunderstorms and virga. He flew to Grand Junction, saw the thunderstorms, and figured he better not land there. However, on the way he decided to land at another airport which I did not authorize. The airport was Cortez, and, I seem to recall, was off-limits to our aircraft. I was furious. I filed a NASA report about the incident.

As long as a student is flying on my endorsement, I expect him/her to do what I say. I think, though, that much of problem had to do with the deadlines that MAPD students had to meet. I remember clearly how all along this student was obsessed with meeting his deadlines. I told him repeatedly not to worry so much about deadlines and worry more about doing the job right. In addition, the administration did not give instructors much backup at MAPD. That was one reason why I left Mesa. It was something like the public school system. Teachers in public schools have trouble maintaining order in their classrooms because their authority is undermined.

We had a great number of European students at FlightSafety. Apparently Europeans have different ideas about hygiene than Americans. What many of the Europeans would do was not shower but put on some sort of cologne or something. The long and short of it was it made for a difficult flight, especially during the warm months.

You're right, though, with exceptions such as the above, flight instructing can be a blast.

 

[InstructorPuke]

forgot one

Living in the land of the blue hairs that I do we had the misfortune of doing alot of aerial burials. i.e. dropping ashes. The mother and son brought dad in to our school and I was elected to go. Having done this several times I sat them down and explained the was it works. I told the son, the dropper, to put the bag outside the window hold it rearward and then open it. He "said" he understood. We jump in the plane son right seat, mom in the back and off we go. Heading off the coast its time and I clear the area, the son opens the window, I glance down and dad's bag is already open. I tried to stop him but he puts the bag to the window and dear old dad gets sucked right back into the airplane. IT WAS LIKE A BLACK TORNADO INSIDE. After everything settled, I looked in the back to see if mom was ok and she looked like she had just survived Mt St Helens eruption. I see myself as a compassionate kinda guy but I had to bite my lip not to howl.

 

[CL60]

After having passed an accredited ground school course and very near to obtaining her private certificate, a student expressed an interest in visiting the local tower. She was a good student, unafraid of flying and very determined. She also seemed a bit detached at times...

I took her to the tower and introduced her as a student very near her private checkride. After a few minutes of observing operations she excalimed, "why are they all taking off in the same direction?... Oh, it must be because of the wind!"

All my friends in the tower looked at me in amazement and could hardly contain their muffled outbursts of laughter and surprise. I was so surprised at this remark that I was speechless....



On another occasion, I had a student"s son puke into my seatback pouch on a Cherokee Warrior. Felt his hands gripping the back of my seat as he heaved over and over again. Smelled like the remnants of beakfast. I opened the vents and storm window and cracked the main door. Asked for priority handling... ill passenger... and made a short approach.

 

[BMD]

ashes to ashes

It doesn't have anything to do with being a CFI but I had a similar experience to Puke's. The P-3 has a sonobuoy chute in the back to push buoys from the inside of the plane in flight. We were tasked with a burial at sea so a couple crewmembers opened the free fall chute, opened up the box of ashes, and proceeded to get a face full of dead guy. Pretty nasty. It was all over the back of the plane.

 

[1highflyguy]

We had a great number of European students at FlightSafety. Apparently Europeans have different ideas about hygiene than Americans. What many of the Europeans would do is not shower but put on some sort of cologne or something. The long and short of it was it made for a difficult flight, especially during the warm months

LOL sounds like the redneck shower!!

 

[tarp]

War story #1

Goes all the way back to my training for my CFI rating some 21 years ago when according to my current batch of students dinosaurs roamed the earth. In those days, pilots in general and instructors in particular were know to stretch the rules just a bit.

My instructor just happened to be the resident aerobatics instructor as well. We had taken the C-152 Aerobat through everything it could do and more even before I got the wild idea to go for my CFI. I'd gather that my training experience was "just a bit" different from most folks. The most memorable event occurred when "Sam" asked me to demonstrate turns around a point. I was very meticulous about my instruction and set him up at a nice 1000 agl for the maneuver. He took the controls and I started talking him though the paces. We got to the steepest part of the bank as the airplane got downwind and he suddenly took the C-150 we were in and just rolled it. It was well past knife edge and on the way to full inverted when he screamed "your airplane". Well luckily it was a nice aileron roll so I just continued the momentum and brought the airplane upright coughing and spluttering. Then, I blasted him with a tirade about doing rolls at a 1000agl, but he just laughed and said, "I'll bet you never let those controls go unguarded again! Nice recovery!"
And people are always asking me how I got my gray hair.

War story #2 comes about 18 years later. I had been through many students trying to buy the piece of real estate just short of the runway, they have put me in spins and bounced me at least 50 feet in the air on the first try on that wonderful Cessna spring gear.

But one day a student comes to me looking for an Instrument instructor. This student told me woes about how there were no good and patient instructors out there. The situation was pretty nice, he owned a good looking Cherokee of mid 70's vintage. It was full IFR and well maintained. I agreed to take on a new student and said we'd go up for a little flight where we'd work on transitioning from the VFR world to flying under the hood. The pre-flight was fine, the run-up textbook, but the takeoff was weird when the student would not launch off the runway until he had absolutely identified where a plane was that had called "downwind". Mumbled something about people don't know what the pattern legs are called and we took off after a rather lengthy delay. We went up and I asked for turns right and left (VFR) and then asked for steep turns right and left. I couldn't get this guy to bank more than 30 degrees. I asked specifically for 45 degrees and still got a thirty degree turn. I asked if I could show him one and took the controls. As I rolled thru 30 degrees he started screaming soft but then louder as the plane neared 45 degrees. It sounded something like "aaaaaaaaaaaEEEEEEEEEWEEERREGGOONNAACRASH!" I'm worried now as I rolled back to straight and level. The student lashes me for taking his airplane thru such unusual paces. Wow, I'm thinking how did this guy get a PPL? I agree not to do it again until he feels more comfortable and move on to climbs and descents. Remember all of this is visual. So I then ask him to put on the hood as I relate just what we did with the big globe to what we're going to do with the little globe. The hood was on for about a minute and the airplane started getting a little off perfect straight and level. The siren was winding up again and I could feel another scream coming. "iiiiiiiIIIIIIIIDDOONNTTLIKETHIS", he says. Oh boy. Take the hood off. Let's go back to the airport and talk.

So we return. Another adventure this time with two airplanes in the pattern. We did 360's about 5 miles away from home until the second plane was on final. I tried to explain how we were sitting ducks for another plane that may be approaching the airport, but my audience was not ready to hear from me. And then the coup d'grace. We make the downwind turn and go out on one of those wonderful 747 tours that people at my airport just love to do. Three miles down we finally turn base and the guy starts descending. Now I start getting nervous. "We're a long way from the airport to be this low" was my first statement. He keeps descending and we turn to final. This is a 2 and one half mile final and I'm 500ft agl. "Um, altitude!", I gulp. Dragging it in. Treetops and buildings are whizzing by. "Climb, we need to be higher." He adds power and I'm thinking I may live. We passed a Traffic Light signal I'd never noticed before on the road just before short final and he mercifully drags in a landing that just about clipped the threshold lights. I'm sweating.

He remarks as we taxi off, "Another greaser! I hate bringing it in high and having to go around!"

After telling him that we missed the traffic light by a mere 50ft at most I stated that regretfully he would need to find still another instructor. Later that day I passed by the local DE's office to relate the story. I didn't get in the door when he said "I hear you picked up a new student, ___________(name)". "No" I said, there will be no second lesson. The DE laughed and then told me all the horror stories about this guy. To this day, when I hear that voice in the pattern, I just fly away. PS, he never got another rating!

Just a warning - be careful out there!

 

[starvingcfi]

i've only been doing this for a year, but i've had a couple times i've puckered up quite a bit.

i've had the usual accidental spin. "oops! so that's why it's so important to use the rudder." we train in traumahawks, so it happens pretty fast.

i had one girl that tried to put me in a hangar on landing. she flew great, but she was having a lot of trouble nailing down the landings in a 172. we did hours and hours and hours of touch and go's. not to mention, she already had about 40hrs with no solo. (from other schools around the state) i was determined i was going to solo her.

on one particular day, she kept letting the plane turn right just before the flare...right for the grass. she would freak out and not know what to do. i tried explaining, but i always had to bring it back for her. finally, we left the pattern and i demonstrated what to do. explained that if her car turns toward the grass, she turns it back. so just turn back to the left, right?

we come back in for another one. starts turning right just before the flare. i say "ok, now just bring it back to the left." she cranks it over with around 20-30 degrees of bank. we end up bouncing around the centerline, but a good 30 degrees off our heading. caught me by total surprise. we bounced back up and were between the taxiway and runway around 50 kts with 40 degrees of flaps. hangars just on the other side of the taxiway. i grabbed the controls, full power and started a shallow back to the right. didn't wanna land on the taxiway. didn't wanna land in the ditch between the t-way and the r-way. obviously didn't wanna hit the hangars. scared the $hit out of me. i got it back where we needed it. can't remember if i ended the flight then.

get this though. i switched her to a tomahawk a few hrs later. she did great. i actually soloed her and she did awesome. a few weeks later, she can't land for $hit. she finally quit. jesus.

i know it's not too bad, but for a new cfi it was really really scary.

starvingcfi