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Another TSA story: I finally had to laugh

mar

Remember this one?
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Get this.

So I show up for work at JFK. A very nice and soft spoken Jamaican woman signs me in with the Capt and FE.

I'm the first to get the wand. You know, it's real casual, more like a blessing than "assume the position!"

Next she opens my bag and rifles through my skivvies and socks. I realize I should be watching closely but I haven't had any coffee and, you know, there're rumors to catch up on, etc...

When she finishes looking in my bag, instead of a real quick ZIP, she sort of closes the zipper with a very slow and deliberate ziiiiiiiiiiiip.

And then she turns around and looks me in the eye. She looks like she wants to tell me something.

Perhaps my fly is undone.
Do I have a booger on my nose?
Do I wanna go out sometime, you know, for coffee?

She says carefully, under her breath, "I noticed...you have...a bottle. In your bag."

It's true. I had a 200ml bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label that I bought across the street from the Five Towns Motor Inn.

"Yeah," I said in my normal voice, "that's right," with a slight shrug of the shoulders.

Again, very discretely, so as not to tip off the other crewmembers, she asks, "Is that allowed?"

I didn't mean to laugh at her, but it cracked me up. "Yeah! Sure, as long as it's not in the cockpit."

At this point the other guys turned around, I collect my bags, "Next!"

After I thought about it for a second I thought maybe I should be pissed. After all her job is to look for bombs and weapons--not to enforce company policy or FARs--not that I was in violation of either.

But she was so damn sweet about it, the way she lowered her voice and used her best discretion so as not to rat me out to the other crewmembers.

That's my story. :eek:
 

viper548

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They aren't as nice at ABQ. I had an allen wrench that came with my bag taken. A captain i flew with had a can of spray starch taken from him too.
 

AA717driver

A simpler time...
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Ahhh... The liquor store across from the Five Towns... Such memories. :D TC
 

TonyC

Frederick's Happy Face
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viper548 said:
A captain i flew with had a can of spray starch taken from him too.
Oh, NOOOOOOooooo!

NOT the SPRAY starch!


:eek:





.
 

ACT700

What's it doing now?
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Since when, or where does it say you can't have alcohol in your carry on?

I mean, as long as you're not drunk, or using it while on duty, who cares.

I transport beer in my carry-on every time I go to my crash pad. Sometimes there's even room for some clean clothes in the "beer transporter"--I mean carry-on!

I say: fillem' up, boys.


Oh, and if you really want to test their (TSA) sense of humor (they don't have one, I already tested!), you tell them that your company has relaxed standards when it comes to that (as the TSA peon is looking at all that booze in your bag).
 

User546

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I enjoy how they comfiscate items from the pilots - like THEY are the ones that are going to takeover and hijack an airplane!

I don't think you should give that TSA lady a hard time about what she did. She was respectful of your privacy and company (didn't make a big scene, and quietly asked you). I think we all know it could've been a lot worse had another screener been rambling thru your bags!

True, it's not against the law to carry alcohol on the plane, and should be none of their business, but keep in mind the airline pilots haven't exactly had a great record with drinking and flying in the past either. It's probably a touchy subject, and I don't think she was out of the realm for inquiring. Now had she turned you in, or made a scene, I'd let her and her sup have it!

Glad to hear a happy story for a change!
 

nosewheel

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Is there a Liquor store across from the Five Towns ? ;)
 

typhoonpilot

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Good story Mar. Next time I come out of Australia with 4 bottles of wine in my flight bag I'm going to self conscious about it. ;) Actually I can only fit two in my flight bag, the other two are in a Duty Free bag.

What kind of a wacko carries their own starch with them, must be former military :p .


You better be sharing that JW when you are in Dubai. :D


TP
 

mar

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Stiff necks?

typhoonpilot said:
What kind of a wacko carries their own starch with them, must be former military :p

My question was: What'dya mix it with? :confused:
 

FracCapt

Clown punchers, unite!
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Next time you go through there....get a Snickers and an old pair of underwear. Smash the Snickers beyond recognition, then smear it in the old pair of underwear. Leave that on the VERY TOP. No more worries about the TSA there wanting to search your bags. :D
 

Flyingdutchman

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today?
LOL I'll keep that one in mind..
 

AA717driver

A simpler time...
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typhoonpilot said:
What kind of a wacko carries their own starch with them, must be former military :p .

It's the Academy grads huffing the Niagra... :D TC
 
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