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An open letter from Bill Clinton

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Jolly Roger

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2002
Posts
177
TO: Federal Aviation Administration

Our airline industry is in real trouble, and it's time to start fixing this before it's too late.
To that end, here are some modest suggestions:

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell? The attendants have gotten old and haggard-looking. They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every heterosexual businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of all the tips, the female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even
more money. Hell, I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working and have them kick back 20 percent of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right. A golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why the hell didn't Bush think of this?

Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
 
I see your sense of humor still is alive and well in the aviation community.

Couldn't agree more. Who have better looking FA's your old outfit or new one?
 
That is pretty good. But if that really came from Slick, he would have added the following: "And for those of you interested in having "sexual relations" with any of the strippers on the flight, we have a bunk in the back called the "White House." In have personally stocked each bunk with fresh cuban cigars and top of the line DNA cleaning kits to wipe off any residue....I personally got nailed with that once and wont make that mistake twice."
 
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Bjammin said:
Who have better looking FA's your old outfit or new one?
Best individuals: new job
Worst individuals: new job
Best average: old job, certainly lower average weight and age! Of course, depending on your tastes (you know what I mean), could be old job, hands down.
Best chance of squeezing the charmin: new job. (of course I would never partake myself!;))
Best chance of screwing up your life: new job.... two TACAN rule harder to figure when you can't remember what city you landed in, two continent rule much more apparent!
 
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