Airplanes and Women

[SDdriver]

16 reasons airplanes are easier to live with than women!


1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time.

2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

3) Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go"

4) Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.

5) Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.

6) Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.

7) Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.

8) Airplanes don't come with in-laws.

9) Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before.

10) Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.

11) Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.

12) Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.

13) Airplanes expect to be tied down.

14) Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.

15) Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.

16) However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good.

 

[SDdriver]

BTW, I hope none of you women aviators get offended out there, just got this on an email and thought it was kinda cute. I can only imagine what you all could come up with for the guys and airplanes. Hope nobody gets offended, just fun and humor.

SD

 

[350DRIVER]

with Airplanes you also get much much more "bang" for the buck-

best thing is they will only whine when you make them. They also don't complain and become emotional during those times of the month.



3 5 0

 

[JeffSKDTW]

My wife and I thought it was funny.

 

[Freight Dog]

To add a couple:

It's easier to trim an airplane.

B747 can keep you up for 14 hours straight.

 

[crash-proof]

11) Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.

If i were flyin with that Shorts in your avatar, i'd be lookin at other planes ALL the time!

<off-topic> I don't know why but all of a sudden FLL is full of doggy 330s, 360s and Skyvans! Guess some folks discovered their weight in gold for freight flyin </off-topic>

 

[Lear2460]

!

BTW-

There are plenty of women out there that can get a kick out of THAT post! Not all women fall under those reasons! You pilots just have to find them!

Come on women out there...I am sure we can come up with a few "Airplanes and Men" sayings.....

That was a great post, FROM a woman that loves Aircraft!

 

[dav8or]

14) Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.

Miss Brazil is always yelling at me. "High Speed" and I have to get her permission before T/O "Takeoff OK" but on the plus side when I turn her on she says "Oral unit OK"

 

[CCDiscoB]

Not all women fall under those reasons!

Yes they do....

 

[Lear2460]

Not all women...

CCdiscoB....

Reply to "not all women fall under those reasons"....

AND I AM SURE I speak for more than just me...

1) Ok... I cannot say that this does not happen... BUT A/C can kill you slowly too.

2) I don't know...but I can be turned on quickly when the right switched is "flicked"

3) Touch and goes are ok too, as long as you make a full stop eventually

4) A good pre-flight inspections avoids ANY surprises later!

5) Ok...manual for women, but if I could create one, I would be rich!

6) Nothing wrong with keeping track of your weight...

7) Nothing says a woman cannot be "flown" either....

8) Don't get married, and you wont have in-laws!

9) Don't live in the past, live for today and tomorrow.

10) Now..I think it is the man that is normally late....

11) Looking at other women is natural...touching is not.

12) ? I think I would steal the magazines for myself...except the "man" magazines...although...women can learn from those too...

13) Being tied down in "rough" weather is a must...

14) NEVER question a man's piloting skills....and MEN..never question a womans piloting skills, and if you do, it is YOUR choice to fly with her.

15) Men whine too....especially when you get "sick"! Waaaaa....

16) Ok...I admit to this one. If your woman is quiet...something is wrong....and that is just how woman are!

Ok....just more of a womans perspective on this, that has no issues with the man and mars, women and venus thing....

 

[CCDiscoB]

really?!

Us skeptical men would call that the bait and switch. The switch occurs after, "I do."

But if what you say is true................I think I'm in love.
Oh and one more thing....

They say I would look great in/on a Learjet.....a beautiful aircraft for a beautiful woman!

That's sounds like a line some guy was giving you.

 

[dav8or]

Re: Not all women...

CCdiscoB....

Reply to "not all women fall under those reasons"....

1) Ok... I cannot say that this does not happen... BUT A/C can kill you slowly too.

Getting a job at a regional airline would be right in line with a slow death.

 

[Draginass]

Great post. Excellent. Very funny.

And BTW, if you're offended by it, that's even better.

 

[MooseTrax]

Bait and Switch

I've been baited......................hey wait a minute..............it's true, sounds like BTW is trying to set the hook. CCDisco has hit the nail on the head I think.

 

[Typhoon1244]

Why is a CRJ-200 better than a woman?

If you don't like what it's doing, just turn it off and turn it back on again.

 

[Freight Dog]

Now wait a minute.... speaking of women and their "rules" :

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and Anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Peanuts are as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

 

[stillaboo]

Funny stuff, FD!

-Boo!

 

[SDdriver]

Wow, I am impressed by some of the responses, very funny stuff. Never thought the thread would go this far.

Freight Dog, that post was funny as hell. Thanks for sharing.

SD

 

[wildbill]

Freight Dog, You have out done yourself.. I thought my wife was going to die laughing as I read it to her.. Right on..

 

[Whirlwind]

Re: Not all women...

2) I don't know...but I can be turned on quickly when the right switched is "flicked"

Ahh, now you're just a tease!

Grrr....

3) Touch and goes are ok too, as long as you make a full stop eventually

Haha! For some reason, this just made me laugh...

7) Nothing says a woman cannot be "flown" either....

Ahh, you know just how to talk dirty...

11) Looking at other women is natural...touching is not.

Eh? A woman who understands how it works?

13) Being tied down in "rough" weather is a must...

*gasp*

I think I'm in love...

Jason