[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the US ARMY. I posted a few..Enjoy.[/font]
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[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Here's the link:http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html[/font]
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[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean “I have been promoted three more times than you”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]66. There is no “Anti-Mime” campaign in Bosnia. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to “Block out the space mind control lasers”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]73. No military functions are to be performed “Skyclad”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]74. Woad is not camouflage makeup. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for." [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]78. I may not call block my chain of command. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]82. May not form any press gangs. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...." [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]84. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the “field of honor”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as “Mom”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]89. Must not refer to the Commander as “Dad”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony “Romper Bomper Stomper Boo” is probably not appropriate. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]93. Nerve gas is not funny. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]96. “Redneck Zombies” is not a military training aid. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not “Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.” [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war". [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a “Cool Mint” Listerine® bottle is not a good combination. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]112. When saluting a “leg” officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir". [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from “Full Monty” every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff". [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me. [/font]
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[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Here's the link:http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html[/font]
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[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean “I have been promoted three more times than you”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]66. There is no “Anti-Mime” campaign in Bosnia. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to “Block out the space mind control lasers”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]73. No military functions are to be performed “Skyclad”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]74. Woad is not camouflage makeup. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for." [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]78. I may not call block my chain of command. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]82. May not form any press gangs. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...." [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]84. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the “field of honor”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as “Mom”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]89. Must not refer to the Commander as “Dad”. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony “Romper Bomper Stomper Boo” is probably not appropriate. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]93. Nerve gas is not funny. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]96. “Redneck Zombies” is not a military training aid. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not “Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.” [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war". [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a “Cool Mint” Listerine® bottle is not a good combination. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]112. When saluting a “leg” officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir". [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from “Full Monty” every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff". [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians. [/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me. [/font]
