MEXICO CITY, MEXICO- A spokesman for the Mexican defense department issued a statement yesterday confirming widespread rumors that Mexican air force "pilots" sighted and filmed nearly a dozen unidentified flying objects over the Southern portion of Campeche, adding "holy **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**, Mexico has an air force?"
The tape in question, reportedly downloaded over a million times over the Internet, appears to depict a series of lights floating back and forth over the horizon. Although at first blush the images strike a remarkable resemblance to the flashlights of a group of Mexican ex-patriots making a midnight Rio Grande crossing, officials dismiss the explanation. That would be silly, they asserted in a press conference on Thursday.
The report from the "pilots" indicated that the objects were moving rapidly at an altitude of 11,000 feet and eventually surrounded their "jet", a 1985 Cessna Albatross two-seater. According to the Associated Press, only three of the objects showed up on the "plane's" "radar," but as the "pilot" later pointed out, the "radar" in question was a re-purposed LCD display from a Coleco handheld football game.
Afterward, officials from the Mexican defense department requested that we stop putting quotes around things. They once again confirmed that the objects on the tape are, indeed, genuine and that the Mexican air force does, indeed, exist.
"Mexico has an air force? You have got to be **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**ting me," said radar operator Lt. German Marin in a taped interview made public Tuesday. "Um, yeah I guess I'm in it, whatever it is, but I wouldn't call it an air force as such."
"It's more of a place to go hang out, draw military pay, and get these kickass plastic wings to put on our pleather jackets," added infrared equipment operator Lt. Mario Adrian Vazquez. "The local chicas love the little plastic wings."
In the report Maj. Magdaleno Castanon says that his jets chased the objects for some distance "but our hydraulics malfunctioned and they got away."
The last line appeared to catch some journalists off guard. Lt. Vazquez volunteered to explain the situation for them. "I admit, we don't have much of an air force, but it does exist. Honestly. And, yes, our aircraft have slight decorative touches to make them uniquely ours. The curb feelers, for example, were not part of the original design spec from Northrup Grummond, but quite frankly we just happen to like them. The main point here is that our pilots saw unexplained objects in the sky. That's all."
By that point, however, the assembled members of the press were no longer listening, clamoring to get photos of the unusual airplanes.
"It's almost as though we're living out some terrible stereotype written by some hack on a slow news day," grumbled Vazquez. "You people should be ashamed of yourselves."
Over and above the extra-terrestrial issue, the incident may soon come under the purview of law enforcement. "Whoever they were, they crossed into our airspace illegally," said Castanon. "If they really were aliens, they were illegal."
Though Pentagon representatives will not confirm their report, Castanon asserted that the objects were detained in the air over Hidalgo, Texas and released back into Mexican skies some hours later.
A Mexican Defense Department spokesman confirmed Tuesday that the videotape was filmed by members of the Mexican Air Force. The spokesman declined to comment further on the amazing fact that Mexico has an air force and indicated that he really didn't want to talk about it anymore.
Veteran UFO investigator Jaime Maussan analyzed the video on national television and again during the press conference, describing for reporters the low-flying aircraft: "a really charp chort with twice-pipes, candy-apple red and button top. Ooh, clean!"
"This is historic news," Maussan told reporters. "Mexico has a **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**ing air force. I mean, we're not making this **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** up, for serious. The armed forces of this country do not perpetuate frauds- they simply lack the resources and experiences to pull it off."
http://www.ridiculopathy.com/news_detail.php?id=1075
Maybe the aliens would take special intrest in a shorts
