Sparse
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- Feb 25, 2005
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Delta Airlines agrees to sell it’s mainline and shuttle operations.
January 7th 2007
White Plains, NY (Reuters). Bankrupt Delta Air Lines, the third largest airline in the world, announced today that it is seeking bankruptcy court approval to sell it’s mainline and shuttle operations, for an undisclosed amount, to an employee stock ownership plan owned by its pilots. In the joint announcement, the pilot group announced the deployment of a groundbreaking, new and innovative management structure, unused in any industry. “We have the most innovative, efficient, kind, friendly, creative, flexible, multi-faceted and reliable workforce in the history of the world” said a Delta executive referring to its unionized pilots. All employees other than pilots will be dismissed. We will be an all-pilot company.
The rationale behind this innovative strategy is “our pilots now know everything about everything,” said a union executive. They started off knowing much about a little (flying), but over time began to know more and more about more and more so that today they know everything about everything. “Our studies have proven that through osmosis in handling their joystick, our pilots have become masters in not only flying jets, but marketing, sales, corporate finance, dispatch and mechanical issues”, said the unnamed union executive. The union executive said that once upon a time, the Delta executives, who grew the airline to it’s size, were able to finance it, build it, get investors to purchase the shares and successfully operate it for many years, started out knowing a lot about many items, but after listening to the pilots for many years the Delta executives realized that they know little about nothing and have decided to leave the company. Like many entrepreneurial ventures, it is time for us to move on and leave the Company in more capable hands”, said one executive who has been with the company since 1973. Union leaders have said that the collective intelligence of its membership have actually conceived of a model whereby pilots will have starting compensation based on a flight hour rate just below the per hour rate of some of the top executives.
For example, a new pilot will receive a per hour compensation at 90% of the average level of total compensation (including perks, stock options and bonuses, but not including additional compensation, regardless of whether reported from insider trading and fraud) of the corporate executives which run the company. As the pilots have more seniority with the company, they will move to larger jets. In order to attract new pilots, all pilots will be required to change their status at the company from pilot to executive after 10 years in order to make new opportunities available for younger pilots. “Our model shows that after 10 years, each pilot should be wealthy enough to his own airline; this will continually create many new airlines, who can afford and would be more than willing to pay higher and higher salaries to the new pilots, who will make more and more until they have enough money to own an airline themselves”, says Charles Ponzi, Ph.D., a consultant to the pilots group.
In addition, with the pilots working fewer hours, they will actually fly even fewer hours since most new executives will be type rated in the aircraft their airline flies. We anticipate that many of the executives will want to take the controls themselves, leaving the compensated pilots to sit in first class and flirt with the flight attendants.
In other news, in response to the continuing discussion of the choice of the successor to Delta CEO Gerald Grinstein, the Delta Board released a statement saying that they are in exploratory talks to sell all of the Delta’s divisions to the pilot group. Mr. Grinstein said “not only does this amazing group know how to run Delta, but they seem to be able to tell us how to run all of our divisions”.
Stolen from the fractional forum and re-worded.
January 7th 2007
White Plains, NY (Reuters). Bankrupt Delta Air Lines, the third largest airline in the world, announced today that it is seeking bankruptcy court approval to sell it’s mainline and shuttle operations, for an undisclosed amount, to an employee stock ownership plan owned by its pilots. In the joint announcement, the pilot group announced the deployment of a groundbreaking, new and innovative management structure, unused in any industry. “We have the most innovative, efficient, kind, friendly, creative, flexible, multi-faceted and reliable workforce in the history of the world” said a Delta executive referring to its unionized pilots. All employees other than pilots will be dismissed. We will be an all-pilot company.
The rationale behind this innovative strategy is “our pilots now know everything about everything,” said a union executive. They started off knowing much about a little (flying), but over time began to know more and more about more and more so that today they know everything about everything. “Our studies have proven that through osmosis in handling their joystick, our pilots have become masters in not only flying jets, but marketing, sales, corporate finance, dispatch and mechanical issues”, said the unnamed union executive. The union executive said that once upon a time, the Delta executives, who grew the airline to it’s size, were able to finance it, build it, get investors to purchase the shares and successfully operate it for many years, started out knowing a lot about many items, but after listening to the pilots for many years the Delta executives realized that they know little about nothing and have decided to leave the company. Like many entrepreneurial ventures, it is time for us to move on and leave the Company in more capable hands”, said one executive who has been with the company since 1973. Union leaders have said that the collective intelligence of its membership have actually conceived of a model whereby pilots will have starting compensation based on a flight hour rate just below the per hour rate of some of the top executives.
For example, a new pilot will receive a per hour compensation at 90% of the average level of total compensation (including perks, stock options and bonuses, but not including additional compensation, regardless of whether reported from insider trading and fraud) of the corporate executives which run the company. As the pilots have more seniority with the company, they will move to larger jets. In order to attract new pilots, all pilots will be required to change their status at the company from pilot to executive after 10 years in order to make new opportunities available for younger pilots. “Our model shows that after 10 years, each pilot should be wealthy enough to his own airline; this will continually create many new airlines, who can afford and would be more than willing to pay higher and higher salaries to the new pilots, who will make more and more until they have enough money to own an airline themselves”, says Charles Ponzi, Ph.D., a consultant to the pilots group.
In addition, with the pilots working fewer hours, they will actually fly even fewer hours since most new executives will be type rated in the aircraft their airline flies. We anticipate that many of the executives will want to take the controls themselves, leaving the compensated pilots to sit in first class and flirt with the flight attendants.
In other news, in response to the continuing discussion of the choice of the successor to Delta CEO Gerald Grinstein, the Delta Board released a statement saying that they are in exploratory talks to sell all of the Delta’s divisions to the pilot group. Mr. Grinstein said “not only does this amazing group know how to run Delta, but they seem to be able to tell us how to run all of our divisions”.
Stolen from the fractional forum and re-worded.
