Wanted

[Newbee]

High paying (100k to start), corporate job with a fortune 10 company where I only have to work 5 days/month. No RON's unless it is approved through me. Scheduled days off at least 2 months ahead of time...Company car (corvette prefered)...401K, IRA, Medical, Dental, Vision, expense account, company Platnum cards, No boss... Have I left anything out?

Oh, yeah, want to fly the space shuttle!

Sound good?

Nah, I would still find somthing to complain about.

 

[na265]

I don't have anything like the 100k or the company car. I do have the insurance. Also, a boss. Oh yeah, I did get to fly the Space Shuttle (sim). No, you can't have my job!

 

[mainah]

Reminds me of a poster I have.

The Right Job- No experience necessary. $250,000 starting salary. Company Lamborghini and sexy assistant included. No boss. No commute. No stress. Come in late. Leave early. Three-hour lunches. Unlimited vacation. Responsibilities will include drinking coffee and staring thoughtfully out the window. No education or formal training needed. Lack of motivation a plus. Underachievers welcomed. Call today if you can. But don't worry, we'll hold the job for you.

 

[Flywrite]

Reminds me of a joke I once heard....

An airline had the opportunity to pick up a bunch of aircraft and routes, effectively tripling their size and profit, but first they must solve all of their labor issues.

After a month of cutthroat negotiating with the pilot group the company decides that it will be worth it to just do whatever it takes to make the pilots happy. The next day the negotiating teams meet. The company's chief negotiator makes his offer.

All pilots will receive a 150% raise, plus 10% annual raises, all pilots will only fly on Mondays, the company cannot touch them the rest of the week, everyone gets a pension, plus 401K with 200% match. Everyone gets at least 5 weeks paid vacation a year, no reserve, everyone presently in the company will be a Captain (on brand new, bigger equipment) within 8 months, everyone gets a company car, and management will never, ever question a Captain's decision again.

After hearing all this the pilots whisper amongst themselves for a minute, then the pilot's head negotiator looks the company chief negotiator squarely in the eye and asks:

"So you're saying you expect us to work every freakin' Monday?"

 

[Newbee]

best job

I am definetly putting some of this on my resume under the "position desired" header!

Thanks for the laugh!