Tail Gunner Joe
Well-known member
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2005
- Posts
- 203
UAL/CAL SLI Opening arguments -- Washington DC.
The day began with the panel of 3 arbitrators introducing themselves to the merger committees sitting at the head table and to the public audience. Jay Pierce made an opening statement; where seeming inhabited by the ghost of Johnnie Cochran, he gave the assembly the 'razzle dazzle' and then levitated David Blaine style and hovered back to his seat.
As Jay Heppner made his self introduction, Pierce used the old Jedi mind trick and slowly rotated Heppner's toupee atop his head in circles as he spoke. This caused a stir amongst the three arbitrators, who whispered to one another, "These are not the droids you are looking for."
Then, the merger chairman on the united committee read from a prepared opening statement. Jay Pierce moved seats to sit in the eyeline of the united panel and donned a pair of Hypnotism glasses (the kind you'd find available for mail order in the back of a comic book). One by one, he stared down the individual committee members causing them to slump forward and fall asleep on the desk in front of them. Their snoring began to drown out the chairman's speech of: "robust furloughed expectations, etc, etc..."
The continental committee opening was a video made with iMovie for iPhone 4. The video pointed out such facts as Guam is the pearl in the oyster that is the Pacific Rim and 'Fortress' Newark is where the runways are paved with gold and covered in TATL narrowbodies. The video finished by defining a 757 as a narrow widebody (or was it a wide narrowbody, I can't remember which).
As the hearing broke at the end of the day, Jay Pierce was seen in a neighboring meeting room warming up a gospel choir. Even Pierce was dressed in a choir robe. He must be planning a surprise for tomorrow's presentation.
The day began with the panel of 3 arbitrators introducing themselves to the merger committees sitting at the head table and to the public audience. Jay Pierce made an opening statement; where seeming inhabited by the ghost of Johnnie Cochran, he gave the assembly the 'razzle dazzle' and then levitated David Blaine style and hovered back to his seat.
As Jay Heppner made his self introduction, Pierce used the old Jedi mind trick and slowly rotated Heppner's toupee atop his head in circles as he spoke. This caused a stir amongst the three arbitrators, who whispered to one another, "These are not the droids you are looking for."
Then, the merger chairman on the united committee read from a prepared opening statement. Jay Pierce moved seats to sit in the eyeline of the united panel and donned a pair of Hypnotism glasses (the kind you'd find available for mail order in the back of a comic book). One by one, he stared down the individual committee members causing them to slump forward and fall asleep on the desk in front of them. Their snoring began to drown out the chairman's speech of: "robust furloughed expectations, etc, etc..."
The continental committee opening was a video made with iMovie for iPhone 4. The video pointed out such facts as Guam is the pearl in the oyster that is the Pacific Rim and 'Fortress' Newark is where the runways are paved with gold and covered in TATL narrowbodies. The video finished by defining a 757 as a narrow widebody (or was it a wide narrowbody, I can't remember which).
As the hearing broke at the end of the day, Jay Pierce was seen in a neighboring meeting room warming up a gospel choir. Even Pierce was dressed in a choir robe. He must be planning a surprise for tomorrow's presentation.
