bchjetdrvr
King Of Swing
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2006
- Posts
- 96
Time for a laugh. Sent to me via a "friend".
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NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED.
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery in OCT 2007 of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named Fltoptsomentium.
Floptsomentuim (Fo) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Floptsomentuim has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact with. A minute amount of Floptsomentuim can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over, possibly days, months, and years of long lasting ill affects.
Floptsomentuim has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Floptsomentuim's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isotopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Floptsamentuim is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Floptsomentuim becomes Opscontrolomentuim -- an element which radiates just as much energy as Floptsomentuim since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED.
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery in OCT 2007 of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named Fltoptsomentium.
Floptsomentuim (Fo) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Floptsomentuim has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact with. A minute amount of Floptsomentuim can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over, possibly days, months, and years of long lasting ill affects.
Floptsomentuim has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Floptsomentuim's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isotopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Floptsamentuim is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Floptsomentuim becomes Opscontrolomentuim -- an element which radiates just as much energy as Floptsomentuim since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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