Cargoboy
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2003
- Posts
- 50
Thought you guys might be able to relate to this:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers
lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems as submitted
by QANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by
maintenance engineers. By the
way Qantas is the only major airline that has never had
an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4
propellers lack normal seepage.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers
lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems as submitted
by QANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by
maintenance engineers. By the
way Qantas is the only major airline that has never had
an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4
propellers lack normal seepage.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
