some good ones sent to me

[hifhflyer]

Greatest Lies in Aviation..
I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.
Me? I've never busted minimum’s.
We will be on time, maybe even early.
I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
I'm a member of the mile high club.
I broke out right at minimum’s.
Don't worry about the weight and balance -- it'll fly.
I'd love to have a woman co-pilot.
I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
No need to look that up, I've got it all memorised.
Sure I can fly it -- it has wings, doesn't it?
Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
We fly every day -- we don't need recurrent training.
It just came out of annual -- how could anything be wrong?
I thought YOU took care of that.
Of course I know where we are.
The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR
I'm SURE the gear was down.

 

[hifhflyer]

Student Naval Aviator (SNA) flying in back on an instrument hop, very lost, very flustered, inadvertently keys XMIT instead of ICS to tell Instructor Pilot (IP) he is less-than-optimally situationally aware:

SNA: (broadcasts to world) "Sir, I'm all fuked up."

Whiting TWR: "Aircraft using obscenity, identify yourself."

(short pause)

IP: "My student said he was **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**ed up; he didn't say he was stupid."



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[hifhflyer]

Pilot's Prayer (2)

When my flying days are over

And from this life I pass.....

I hope they bury me upside down

So the FAA can kiss my A**

 

[Mongolikecandy]

Biggest lie in aviation? I use it everyday:

Yeah, I have the field in sight.