Republican National Convention Agenda

[Pura Vida]

The following RNC agenda was leaked to the media recently:


6:00pm - Opening Bill of Rights burning ceremony.
6:30pm - Anti-Labor rally
6:40pm - Trent Lott proposes a toast
7:00pm - Tribute to Enron
7:10pm - Collect offerings for Rush Limbaugh Rehab. fund
7:20pm - Trent Lott proposes a toast
7:25pm - Tribute theme to WalMart
7:45pm - Anti-Union rally (Moderated by Frank Lorenzo)
8:00pm - George Bush presents typical spin of the issues
8:25pm - Rush Limbaugh proposes a toast
8:30pm - Management Appeasement workshop
9:00pm - Outsourcing Ceremony
9:30pm - *Intermission* (Oxycontin courtesy of Rush Limbaugh)
9:45pm - Dick Cheney toast to the $500 Billion Deficit
10:00pm - Constitution shredding ceremony
10:15pm - Renactment of Bush's fake carrier landing
10:30pm - Cameo by OPEC cartel
10:40pm - Rush Limbaugh proposes a toast
10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to Fossil Fuels
11:00pm - Destruction of the Environment caucusing
11:15pm - How to Raise Health Care costs workshop
11:20pm - George Bush presents further spin
11:30pm - Tribute to Ken Lay
11:45pm - *Media Blackout* per Dick Cheney and Halliburton
12:00am - Nomination of Bush/Cheney to Republican ticket.

Sorry if this offends some of you Right Wingers, but this was too funny to pass up.

 

[spanky2]

nice try.

did the DNC and United Nations come up with this all by themselves?

 

[Pura Vida]

hey...what can I say?

What's good for the goose...

 

[SWA GUY]

A Typical DNC Planning Day:

0800 Read all Leftist Media articles
0820 Plan same BS articles for next day
0830 Have cocktails with Ted Kennedy
1000 Figure out a way to raise taxes
1030 Figure out how to spin higher taxes
1100 Call UN and chat with fellow soicialists
1130 Working lunch/Bush-bashfest
1230 More Bush bashing
1300 Come up with real ideas to USA's problems
1302 Plan bush bashing speech
1400 More cocktails with Ted Kennedy
1445 Run about, scream and shout
1530 Chat with Hollywood liberals
1600 Wonder why no one gets Kerry
1615 Plan ad about Kerry in Vietnam
1645 Draw similarities between Iraq and Vietnam
1700 Call Clinton and ask what to do
1730 Declare themselves mainstream USA
1800 Go home turn on CNN-BS, ABC-BS, NBC-BS
CBS-BS, watch Larry King, Russert, Rather softball all their liberal guests.

 

[CitationLover]

you forgot this on the dnc agenda....from rob lowe's agenda


2300 buy videotape
2315 pick up hot teenager
2330 in the sack tapin....

 

[B6Busdriver]

Typical Dem agenda
7am Breakfast at The Waffle House
8am Issue press relaese against issue A
9am Watch polls on CNN about issue A
10am Terry Mcauliffe has meeting with Algore and his lackeys cohorts about public support on issue A
11am Issue press release explaining they weren't really against issue A and that Algore invented the internet.
Noon Lunch at the Waffle House
1pm Teddy is already drunk.....again
2pm Teddy is hungry and wants to go back for a snack at the Waffle House
3pm Bash Bush on the economy
4pm Economic indicators show continued rebound of the economy
5pm Dems eating crow for dinner
6pm Interviews on the Clinton News Network
7pm Teddy has passed out for the night
8pm Watch their liberal buddies have a lovefest with Chris Matthews
9pm Plan tomorrows smear campaign

 

[Hose A. Jiminez]

or...

7am - bed wet
8am - bed wet
9am - bed wet
10am- bed wet
11am- bed wet
12pm- bed wet
1pm 1 bet wet


buncha bed wetters!!!

 

[CatfishVT9]

More DNC agenda items

-Defining "is".
-How to supress Military absentee votes. Again.
-Proper ballot stuffing for Palm Beach County.
-Why we moved left when the country moved right.
-How the RNC is making no one listen to Air America.

 

[GogglesPisano]

I think the RNC agenda is a lot funnier.

The DNC stuff is just a futile attempt at a comeback.

 

[milplt]

I think the original is in the other thread titled DNC Agenda - from which the RNC version is a flagrant copy