Lamest PA phrases

[CatYaaak]

"....just sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight".

and

"flight deck".

Instant weenie points for using either of those two.

 

[vclean]

"...if we can make your flight more enjoyable, please don't hesitate to ask..."

 

[EagleRJ]

"a very pleasent good morning"

As opposed to what? A very hostile good morning? A very indifferent good morning?


"First Officer XXX currently at the controls"

...so if it's a rough landing, don't blame me!


"don't congregate in the galley or near the cockpit door"

Unless you're a terrorist, in which case you'll probably do whatever you want.


"we have some of the finest flight attendants on board today- blah- blah- blah"

Someone's just trying to line up a date for the overnight!

 

[AeroDMB]

So what is a good, not "weenie" PA announcement...?

 

[ibaflyer]

I would think that the following would not be weenie.....

"Ladied and Gentlemen, this is Capt. XXXX due to weather at our destination, we will need to circle here for a while. Due to this delay, DRINKS ARE ON THE HOUSE!!!!

 

[rumpletumbler]

Ladies and Gentleman...I'd like to take this opportunity to tell the towel heads that the Captain is disregarding company policy and is profiling this afternoon. If your a towel head and you have to go to the bathroom you might just want to hold it till we get there....if you should choose to get up during our flight today I'd like to invite everyone else on board to pummel you through the floor and into the cargo section. In fact...if your sitting next to a towel head just turn around and slap them open handed as hard as you can right now.....ahhhhhhh that sounded nice........have a nice flight!

 

[Thedude]

----------------------------------------------------
"don't congregate in the galley or near the cockpit door"

Unless you're a terrorist, in which case you'll probably do whatever you want.
-----------------------------------------------------
Eagle RJ,
Actually the above phrase is now required by a security directive when returning from a foreign destination.

 

[Timebuilder]

"...on behalf of our Boston based flight crew..."

I've never been able to figure out why this info was being shared.

??

 

[EagleRJ]

----------------------------------------------------
"don't congregate in the galley or near the cockpit door"

Unless you're a terrorist, in which case you'll probably do whatever you want.
-----------------------------------------------------
Eagle RJ,
Actually the above phrase is now required by a security directive when returning from a foreign destination.

...and some airlines require their crews to say it on every flight- even domestic. It still sounds corny, and serves only to remind jittery passengers. The only people who won't comply with the policy are the same people the policy was written for.


How about giving the passengers a detailed route of flight, even when you're flying over an undercast? That always struck me as useless information.

 

[Stifler's Mom]

Best cabin announcement, courtesy of Airplane.