Instructor / Student Friendship

[Flechas]

What do you guys think.
When i was getting my initial instructor certificate, i was told that it was important for the instructor to become friends with the student, to get to know him/her in a personal level, that way you can know when the student has personal problems and if that is the case sometimes is better to cancel the flight because the student has his/her head somewhere else. i have been instructing for a year now, and have made good friendship with my students, with some more than with others. but this has helped me a lot because not only have i been able to help them more but also some of my studesnt came with me to my new job. One of the advices my former boss gave me was not to get to close to the students, i never listened to him because i knew he just wanted me to be on the school's side when there was any kind of conflict or the student wasn't satisfied with something (schedueling, aircraft equipment....)
now, in the thread toy soldier posted about being a good CFI, he or somebody else said that you shouldn't become buddies with the student, so i want to know why and what everybody thinks about that. I'm not saying toy soldier is wrong, i just want to get a good perspective on this because it has been part of the way i do flight instruction.
also, i want to clarify that while i'm teaching i am the instructor, not the friend, i don't cut more slack because of the friendship, i keep it at a professional level all the time.
thanks guys, looking forward to read your thoughts on this.

flechas

 

[labbats]

It's a tightrope I agree. I really like all of my current students. I try not to hang out on my own time with them to keep it professional, but if we go XC, I have no qualms about grabbing a burger and shooting the bull.

 

[Toy Soldier]

Flechas

Good question. Someone had added their advice about becoming "friends" with their students. I simply added their comment to my column.

Having said that, the poster was suggesting that you do not become such good friends that you lose sight of the instructor/customer relationship. If you lose sight, then you will end up giving your dual time "away" because you might feel obligated to your "friend".

What you suggest makes sense. Get to know your students, joke around, etc. This is called building a relationship! Relationship building is good. Just remember to keep it professional and know when to draw the line. Sometimes it can be like going to lunch with your employees if you are the boss. Know when to joke around and know when to hold a straight face.

ALSO, different customers will require different modes of friendship. You should be able to tell which students can "hold the line" and which ones can't. I have had students try to "steal a mile" if I gave them an inch! And by the same token, I have darn near had to ORDER some folks to RELAX around me because they took the relationship a little too seriously. Each customer will require a different approach!

I hope this clears things up - at least from my perspective. Good Luck!

 

[LAXSaabdude]

I kept things on a professional, but friendly level with my students, and tried not to get too chummy with them during the course of their training. However, some of them were more fun to hang out with, and when I had completed a course of training I would sometimes maintain a social relationship with them for quite sometime thereafter.

LAXSaabdude.

 

[wxman]

Student / Instructor Relationships

I think that most people realize that each situation is different, and how you relate to your students is an individual choice (based on your best judgement). In my case, I have had very good success with my students by maintaining a friendly relationship.

I instruct for a University flight program. Since I am in my mid-thirties, I am usually significantly older than most of my students. I believe that this allows me to have a friendship with them, while still having authority. This seems even more true with my students who are female. These students are not intimidated by me, they trust me, and they feel that I am very approachable when they have a problem.

If you are younger than I am, and your students are similar in age, there could be more of a problem trying to be friends and have respect and authority. It is a decision you have to make based on your situation and experience.

I might also note that my first instructor intimidated the heck out me. As a result, I did not make very good progress with my training. He was very knowledgable, but not a good instructor for me. Other people that flew with him did very well. It depends on the individual.

Good Luck. Teaching will certainly help you learn about people and relationships!

 

[TXCAP4228]

From a non CIF perspective

When I was doing my training for the private I thought my flight instructor knew everything. To me it seemed like he was infalible.

That's important.

If you are too close to your students, they will see you as human and sometimes it will cause them to doubt you. Its an even bigger deal when working on advanced ratings. I have seen lots of CFI's just flat f*ck up approaches or maneuvers, and as a result I would have a hard time letting them instruct me in the future.

I guess my point is that if you're too close to them they may start to see you as something less than the professional who never makes a wrong step.

 

[acaTerry]

TXCAP4228,

This is another tightrope to be walked. But you are wrong to assume that b/c a CFI bones something once in a while that the CFI is no good. CFI's have little time to actually FLY the plane, especially b/c they do not like to do it at the stdts expense. It's a tough judgement to make how much flying you do versus how much the student gives up.
You might want to rethink your thoughts on that a student should view a CFI as infallible. A stdt should respect the CFI, but realize that yes, even a CFI can screw up. The same hazard applies to an FO who will not be wary of his CA b/c he thinks the CA is infallible.
Not to sound harsh here, but the CFI can make mistakes, and so can an airline CA.

 

[bobbysamd]

Instructor-student relationship

Absolutely without question, your relationships with your students should always be on a friendly and non-formal basis. Notice that I did not say "informal." No matter how well you get on with your students, your relationship with them is still strictly professional.

The instructor-student relationship is akin to an attorney-client relationship or a doctor-patient relationship. In other words, you must maintain an arms-length relationship with your charges, or else you can lose objectivity. Once you lose objectivity, neither you or your students will benefit.

I had a similar relationship with my students as Wxman's. I was in my mid to late 30s when I went to work at ERAU. For the most part, I enjoyed every minute working with my Riddlers. I felt that I related well to them. I enjoyed working with them because it made me feel younger. I think they knew that I was showing an interest in them and they appreciated it. I also agree with Wxman that it can be hard for instructors to maintain authority over students who are in the same age bracket, and especially if the instructors had been students in the same school not long before.

Always treat your students on a friendly basis, but remember, they are your clients and customers and not necessarily your buds.