AirBill
PC LOAD LETTER
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2003
- Posts
- 188
> In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes:
>
> "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day
> as Walt (my backseater) and I were screaming across Southern
> California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio
> transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace.
> Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement
> across their scope.
>
> "I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed."
>
> "90 knots," Center replied.
>
> "Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same."
>
> "120 knots," Center answered.
>
> "We obviously weren't the only ones proud of our groundspeed that day
> as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52
> requests groundspeed readout.' There was a slight pause, then the
> response, '525 knots on the ground, Dusty.' "
>
> "Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a
> situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission
> coming from my backseater. It was at that precise moment I realized
> Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in
> unison."
>
> "Center, Aspen 20,you got a groundspeed readout for us?"
>
> There was a longer than normal pause .... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots."
>
> No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
> In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a
> request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller,
> with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to
> 60,000 feet?
>
> The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go
> up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.
>
> -------------------------------------
>
> The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
> placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the
> navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
>
> The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
>
> The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"
>
> The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart
> table. The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
>
> "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost
> before you will."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---
>
> More tower chatter:
>
> Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
>
> Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -
>
> One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold
> short of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out,
> turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted
> comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute
> little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
>
> Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came
> back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and
> I'll have enough parts for another one."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
My personal favorite:
> There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority
> landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit
> peaked."
>
> Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two
> behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
>
> "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."
> A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
> attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your
> last known position?"
>
> Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -
>
> Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and
> returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
>
> A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the
> problem?"
>
> "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
> the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -
>
> "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
>
> "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
> here?"
>
> "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
>
> "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day
> as Walt (my backseater) and I were screaming across Southern
> California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio
> transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace.
> Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement
> across their scope.
>
> "I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed."
>
> "90 knots," Center replied.
>
> "Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same."
>
> "120 knots," Center answered.
>
> "We obviously weren't the only ones proud of our groundspeed that day
> as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52
> requests groundspeed readout.' There was a slight pause, then the
> response, '525 knots on the ground, Dusty.' "
>
> "Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a
> situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission
> coming from my backseater. It was at that precise moment I realized
> Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in
> unison."
>
> "Center, Aspen 20,you got a groundspeed readout for us?"
>
> There was a longer than normal pause .... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots."
>
> No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
> In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a
> request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller,
> with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to
> 60,000 feet?
>
> The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go
> up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.
>
> -------------------------------------
>
> The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
> placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the
> navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
>
> The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
>
> The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"
>
> The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart
> table. The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
>
> "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost
> before you will."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---
>
> More tower chatter:
>
> Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
>
> Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -
>
> One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold
> short of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out,
> turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted
> comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute
> little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
>
> Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came
> back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and
> I'll have enough parts for another one."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
My personal favorite:
> There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority
> landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit
> peaked."
>
> Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two
> behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
>
> "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."
> A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
> attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your
> last known position?"
>
> Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -
>
> Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and
> returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
>
> A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the
> problem?"
>
> "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
> the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -
>
> "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
>
> "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
> here?"
>
> "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
