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"Great" Excuses for Calling in Sick

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Resume Writer

Registered User
Joined
Feb 7, 2004
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Hi Everyone,

Recently, a survey was conducted by Career Builder.com about workers calling in sick. Below are the results and some pretty funny reasons that employees have used for calling out. Has anyone heard any good reasons throughout the years?

Kathy

Thirty-five Percent of Workers Called in Sick With Fake Excuses Over the Last Year

- Hiring Managers Share Top 15 Most Bizarre Reasons Workers Gave for Missing Work -

CHICAGO, October 20, 2004 - More than one-third of U.S. workers say they played hooky from work over the last twelve months. Thirty-five percent of workers admit to calling in sick when they felt well at least once during the last year. One-in-ten state they did so three or more times. The top three motivators for faking include attending to personal errands and appointments, catching up on sleep, and simply relaxing. The CareerBuilder.com survey, "Out of the Office," was conducted from August 5 to August 24, 2004. It included more than 1,600 workers, 700 of which were hiring managers.

"With the cold and flu season kicking in, it’s a popular time of year for employees to call in sick," said Rosemary Haefner, Senior Career Advisor for CareerBuilder.com. "However, the number of those who are actually feeling under the weather may not necessarily match up with unscheduled absences. Twenty percent of workers say they called into work because they just didn’t feel like going into the office that day. One-in-four workers report they feel sick days are equivalent to extra vacation days and treat them as such."

When asked to share the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work, hiring managers quoted the following examples:

  • I was sprayed by a skunk.
  • I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
  • My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
  • I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
  • I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
  • I couldn’t find my shoes.
  • I hurt myself bowling.
  • I was spit on by a venomous snake.
  • I totaled my wife’s jeep in a collision with a cow.
  • A hitman was looking for me.
  • My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser
  • I eloped.
  • My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
  • I had to be there for my husband’s grand jury trial.
  • I had to ship my grandmother’s bones to India. (note: she had passed away 20 years ago)
 
"one in ten did so three or more times."?

Amateurs!TC
 
I have never, in my life, missed work because I was sick...

But I was once late to work (which very rarely happens). I always say, "if I'm late, you get a story."

So there I was, walking out my door at 4:30 AM, and I find a rather large rattlesnake on the concrete in front of the door. However, this being the high mountains of NM, and it being very, very early, it was very cold out. The rattler was so lethargic that it's rattle was more along the lines of "tic-tic-tic-tic." It was trying to be mean, but just didn't have the energy, poor fella.

Which for me wasn't a problem, but for the other folks in the house, they would be walking out the door about a half hour after the sun first hit that concrete pad. So obviously, I decided that I had better deal with the thing. It took me a little while to decide just which neighbor's yard to put it in, and being in the mountains, the neighbors aren't all that close. Suffice it to say, I was about a half hour late to work and gave the excuse that a rattlesnake tried to attack me.

That's 100 percent true (except for the neighbors yard part--I put it in my brother's bed--except by "brother's bed" I mean in the woods).

But the hitman one takes the cake!

Dan
 
Try this one next time you need an excuse....

"I'm pretty drunk, and I figured that if I went twice as fast as normal it meant you'd only have half as much time to try and catch me".

Whoops! Sorry, that's an excuse to tell a cop why you were speeding. Ok, for ditching work, how about this?...

"Just calling to say I'll be about 20 minutes late today. I can't stop sneezing and I think my Ebola is acting up. My chest cavity and guts feel like they're filled with liquid jelly".

They'll order you to stay home then.
 
Just tell the CP that your having eye problems. When he asks what's wrong, just say "I just can't SEE myself coming to work today"
 
BEXFlyer said:
Just tell the CP that your having eye problems. When he asks what's wrong, just say "I just can't SEE myself coming to work today"
That's called anal glaucoma. You can't see your a$$ coming to work today :)
 
My husband's grandpa died in the night, and we had to make family travel arrangements. But when that was done and I went to get in my car to go to the airport I found that the ingnition switch in my car had burned up in the night and there was no way my car was moving off the driveway of it's own power. It was a bad night. I'll try to make it in tomorrow.

(True story actually, the second-to-last time I had to go in to work before my second furlough.)
 

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