For all the SJS victims who are now complaining...

[acaTerry]

I mined this from acalounge. All you SJS grads who are now unhappy with that new jet that looked so good 6 months ago, here's how it was for the "real" airline pilots who took the long road. Maybe it'll put a smile on your face:

The Jetstream Song

(To the tune of Gilligan's Island)

Just sit right back and you'll hear our tale
Of a typical Jetstream trip
We stuff 19 paying passengers
Aboard our tiny ship

No drinks, no stu, no cockpit door
Not a single luxury
Like Orville and Wilbur Wright
As primitive as can be
As primitive as can be

My armrest's broke, my back is shot
I have a second job
The engines are not making torque
I wish I flew the Saab

We wrote one up, the boss is mad
It's me he wants to fire
I should have stayed in dental school
The majors will not hire
The majors will not hire

The freon's out, the flows are bad
No yaw damper installed
The passengers are turning green
The new guy is appalled

The pressure spikes, the radar's shot
The brand new engine quit
I hope I live to tell the tale
Of a typical Jetstream trip
Aboard our tiny ship!

 

[ArcticFlier]

"The freon's out, the flows are bad"

Man, do I wish that the Metro's had freon!

Thanks, Terry. Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day!

 

[capt. megadeth]

I love that song!


BTW, what are SJS guys complaining about?

 

[BoilerUP]

Ahhhhhhh, brings back memories from 3C...

 

[Sonny Crockett]

I can still smell the J-32......

 

[Mr Wu]

I'm hijacking that for the 1900.

 

[Tram]

I'm hijacking that for the 1900.

Well, you can use it for the 1900, as long as you willingly accept it is a Jetstream thing and the 1900 is 25 times easier to fly than the magic JBall..

 

[Berkut]

The brand new engine quit

Brand new engine? This song couldn't have originated from Regions.

 

[siucavflight]

What SJS guys are complaining?

 

[acaTerry]

Oh I hear them "we don't have ACARS" and "our second FMS in DMI'ed, now we have to pull maps out, etc"...
Just thought I'd bring up some memories from my fonder / worse days and let them see what it used to be like.

"You're spoiled! When I was your age we didn't have this "fire" stuff"

 

[capt. megadeth]

Well, if they're pi$$ing and moaning about that, we need to get em in a Jetstream.

 

[JoeMerchant]

"The freon's out, the flows are bad"

Man, do I wish that the Metro's had freon!

Thanks, Terry. Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day!

You mean this one....

http://www.pressenter.com/~gregboe/Greg/classicTV/Gilligan'sThemeSong.htm

How about a 3 hour tour in a Bandit.... these guys would die..... No autopilot, FD, FA, Lav, Pres., and no HSI on the FO side... they wouldn't know what to do....

UFS taught me well for the Bandit.....
:beer:

Hey are you flying to MSO, LWS, or BOI on Wed? Going out there to fly 1500K to Moose Creek with Mike.....

 

[ArcticFlier]

Nope. I'm off for a few days. Tell Mike to get his crap together (if he wants) and send me a resume, etc.

UFS taught me well for the Metro as well, Padwan.

No autopilot, FD, FA, Lav, Pres., and no HSI on the FO side...

At least we had pressurization, but the freakin' San Antonio sewer pipe was a dutch oven in the summer time when you bounced from PSP-PHX-FLG-PGA-SGU-LAS-SGU-PGA-PHX-PGA...........all in one day. We had repeaters on the right side of the Metro cockpit (yes, it's a cockpit, not a flight deck. That's the top layer of an aircraft carrier. You know, the thingy that they land planes on). What a piece of shiitola they were. I maintained my 'currency' flying cross panel.

Hey, does the -110 have a prop sync? The Metro does, but I think it was more a pilot amusement switch, as it never really seemed to work. On the other hand, at least we weren't having to try and sync four props, like say, in the Connie.

"You're spoiled! When I was your age we didn't have this "fire" stuff"

HAHA.............Boy, am I beginning to understand that AND find it funny!

Two FMS'? Must be nice..............

 

[FurloughedAgain]

I flew the J31 for 2 years as an F/O. 223 knot redline...all the way to Altoona and back.

JST-PIT-AOO-PIT-JST-PIT-JST-PIT-AOO-PIT-JST.

Earplugs under the Dave Clarks and fly with your hand on the trim-wheel because the airplane was never really "in trim"...

Jetstream pilots never had gel in their hair...the sweat would make it melt.

Jetstream pilots never had backpacks or Ipods (or the mid-90s equivalent of the Ipod..the Walkman), there wasn't room in the cockpit.

Jetstream pilots didn't drink anything during the day... no potty.

Jetstream pilots had strong right arms from spinning the prop after every leg to cool the shaft... and strong left arms because...well, no self-respecting female would go out with a jetstream pilot.

We always looked fondly at the B1900 pilots with their "glass" and their large air-vents, and their steering with rudder pedals, and their brakes that didn't send them careening into the weeds with the slightest tap.

And the Saab pilots? Gods among men. Clean, crisp. Autopilots, flight directors, and a hot cup of coffee. The Saab pilots might as well have been widebody international pilots... We bowed our heads in the hallway rather than look them in the eye.

Ahhh the days of the Jetstream. Can't believe it was over a decade ago.

 

[Snapperhead]

Flying the J-32 was like balancing on a bowling ball. The a/c would be deferred for 120 days so the Captains would write it up in the middle of winter, so it would be fixed by the summer. That theme song is a classic by the way.

 

[NuGuy]

Wow...flashback to 1993 in the CCAir/Henson crew room in CLT behind the stanky Pizza Strada....

Nu

 

[J and E's Daddy]

I also flew the 32 at CCAIR, it does bring back memories.
Still love that parody

 

[Tram]

Ahhh the days of the Jetstream. Can't believe it was over a decade ago.

A decade eh? More like 5 months ago for me..

 

[whaleroast]

I flew the J31 for 2 years as an F/O. 223 knot redline...all the way to Altoona and back.

JST-PIT-AOO-PIT-JST-PIT-JST-PIT-AOO-PIT-JST.

Earplugs under the Dave Clarks and fly with your hand on the trim-wheel because the airplane was never really "in trim"...

Jetstream pilots never had gel in their hair...the sweat would make it melt.

Jetstream pilots never had backpacks or Ipods (or the mid-90s equivalent of the Ipod..the Walkman), there wasn't room in the cockpit.

Jetstream pilots didn't drink anything during the day... no potty.

Jetstream pilots had strong right arms from spinning the prop after every leg to cool the shaft... and strong left arms because...well, no self-respecting female would go out with a jetstream pilot.

We always looked fondly at the B1900 pilots with their "glass" and their large air-vents, and their steering with rudder pedals, and their brakes that didn't send them careening into the weeds with the slightest tap.

And the Saab pilots? Gods among men. Clean, crisp. Autopilots, flight directors, and a hot cup of coffee. The Saab pilots might as well have been widebody international pilots... We bowed our heads in the hallway rather than look them in the eye.

Ahhh the days of the Jetstream. Can't believe it was over a decade ago.

That's freaking funny.

 

[pgcfii2002]

Artie Lange is cool.