Feel like crap

[Timebuilder]

You did what was right.

This may be the way that someone who isn't cut out to be a pilot, in this case your student, is kept out of the cockpit.

There may be a host of forces at work that you are not aware of. Perhaps there is family pressure to "find a field where you can make a living" and this is what he chose to satisfy that requirement. Maybe there is drug use. Maybe fear. Who knows.

All you can do as an instructor can be summed up in two words: "your best". I think you have probably done that.

Maybe he's better off doing something else.

 

[Doozer]

FlyChicaga:

Welcome to leadership, pal.

I don't teach in a formal school now, but in a previous life I did.

Given enough time, money & training, I believe that any reasonably intelligent person can be taught to fly; however, there are some people who--despite being able to pilot an aircraft--will never be able to exercise the judgment required to do it professionally with passengers or troops aboard.

Now, I instruct part-time in a couple of clubs at what most folks would call "a podunk grass strip in East Tennessee." I was also a flight instructor in the Marine Corps.

I have (& have had) some students who I know I can teach to fly on an occasional basis, but who could never hack it in the service or who could never be professional pilots. My wife (formerly a school teacher) laughingly calls them my "LD" (learning disabled) students.

It's not fun, but I level with these students about their progress in comparison to what I've come to know as a "normal" student. Despite having been a Marine, I still don't enjoy this; however, I believe they still respect me for this because they still patronize me & they still try their best--even if it will never be good enough for anything more than casual flying. I actually wish more people had work ethics like these folks.

There are times when your best--as an instructor or as a human being--just won't be enough. If you did the best that you could at the time, then there's nothing to be ashamed of, or regretful for. Put it behind you, & try to learn from it for the next time. You might also try to solicit advice from some of your mentors or peers who have been at it a bit longer. Actually, you're doing this right now. Kudos to you!

I, personally, don't think it's bad to care about your students. I believe that people of good character are able to sense your sincerity & will respond to it in a positive manner--even if you have to make a tough decision that adversely affects them. I also don't believe that you can give any customer the best service possible without knowing him.

Maybe your frustration with situations like this will never pass, but life is inherently unfair. The true test of character is how one deals with that fact. Are you going to stop doing your best because of one failure, or are you going to resolve to learn from it & try to do better in the future?

 

[bigD]

Wow, some great responses.

Great thread, Chicaga. I'm glad you posted your experience. I'll be doing some instructing in the not too distant future, and this kind of thing is exactly what I anticipate to be the most difficult for me.

 

[PennEagle]

Tomorrow is another day

Chicaga,

Heartfelt post, and the responses are spot on.

I'd just add that this will all seem 'different' this time tomorrow. I guess a lot of emotional energy got spent today....and he'll have a chance to reflect on what's happened.

It's the tough students who bring the best out in us. Although I love those guys and gals who do their homework, show up prepared and get it right first time (who does'nt?), the ones that really give me pleasure are the one's who struggle and have to fight to win through. All I can do is be the best facilitator I can be. I guess that teaching flying must be one of the toughest things to teach, and knowing your student and how he learns is all important.

 

[Purple Haze]

FlyChicaga,
Of course you are doing the right thing. This instance may feel pretty lousy, but as years go by and you see the great pilots you influenced early on, it will feel pretty good.

Keep fighting the good fight.

 

[bobbysamd]

Students as clients and readiness to learn

I agree wholeheartedly with all of the above comments. I also appreciate your initial comments. Hopefully, you will have more success stories to report than failure stories.

Absolutely, you should care about your students, because you are offering a service to them. But, you should care in the same way that a doctor or lawyer cares about his/her patients or clients. You have to try to deal with them at arm's length; otherwise, you will lose your objectivity. Your students count on your ability to render an honest appraisal of their progress. You cannot do to that if you get too wrapped up in them.

Although you want to run a friendly cockpit, your relationship with your students is almost more like a parent to a child. To do your job you have to retain a level of authority. Compare it to the relationship you had as a kid in school with teachers you liked, except that now you are on the other side of the desk.

Viewing your story objectively, it sounds as if your student wasn't entirely "ready" to learn. Therefore, you shouldn't feel so bad. Learning to fly in an intense, professional program requires complete readiness to learn and complete concentration. Your student would not, or could not, hold up his end of the bargain at this time. Maybe it is best for him to take the remedial course or curtail flying altogether until he loses his distractions.

It sounds as if he busted his written because he didn't put in enough time to study. The Private written isn't that hard, and if he was going to Private ground school, the learning should have been easier. Don't forget the picture in the FOI. You can't open up the guy's head and pour in the learning. Preparing for an oral is similar; it requires studying. If it was for a final Private stage check, the outline for what you need to know is set forth in the PTS.

When I was learning to fly and was working on ratings I was putting up with bad and oftentimes-changing shifts at work. While I thought that I was giving 100% to my flying, sleeping days and/or changing shifts and changing my habit patterns surely had to distract my concentration (not to mention how frustrated I was with putting up with frequent shift changes with little or no notice). And, I was "ready" to learn how to fly.

You did fine. You did what you had to do, and you did the right thing. Keep up the good work.

 

[JCJ]

I am not a CFI and therefore do not train pilots. but I do fly alot and (for my day job) I am a surgeon and the director of the surgery residency program at he university where i practice. there are many, many parallels between training pilots and training surgeons.

last year i had to end the chance of a surgical career of one of my trainees because she wasn't progressing despite every effort we could make to get her up to speed. She is a very good doctor, a good and responsible person and worked as hard as she could but just couldn't make it "click" in the OR or on the wards & clinics with complex surgical patients. the decision was based on input from many other surgeons but since i am the residency program director the ultimate responsibility for the decision was mine.

I felt absolutely horrible about that decision but at the end of the day I knew I would never have been comfortable with her being the surgeon caring for a member of my family. therefore there could be no serious doubt about the decision i had to make.

from what you've written I doubt you would seriously consider letting a member of your family fly with your student. If so then there can be no serious doubt that you made the correct call. The fact that it bothered you so much to do that reflects a true concern for your student, but you did the right thing in not compromising in your decision. If you have any doubt, just think for a minute about your wife, girlfriend or parents in the airplane with your student as PIC. Maybe with more time and instruction he can catch up.

 

[JediNein]

Right on as usual Bobbysamd!

Outside distractions take a lot out of a person, especially when they are trying to learn. I proved it was rather difficult to work full-time, attend school full-time, and try to complete flight ratings at the same time.

Fear is another consideration. I have a client that takes an average of 3 weeks between each lesson to build up enough courage to try a flight lesson. There is nothing mentally wrong with this particular person, she runs a successful small business, raised a family, yadda yadda, just is terrified of flying and of failing. She's trapped herself with dual fears, so she'll conquer her fear of flying. This person FlyChicaga is working with may find failing to be easier than conquering the fear, whatever that might be. Checkride-itis comes to mind, along with the various other fears.

Good luck FlyChicaga. Although you old your student he needed more work, don't let him think you are leaving him. Let him know you will be there next semester to continue working him over so he will indeed become a private pilot. Refer to the FOI for more ideas on this. Those instructors that can conquer the "difficult" students generally can charge more as their waiting list of students fills up.

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein

 

[tarp]

FlyChicaga:

Excellent post. Glad to hear that you care about your students. That's a fantastic sentiment and great customer service - you will never need to search for customers with that attitude, they will always find you.

I want to second BobbyS's post with a different word. Motivation. Aviation is one of the few teaching and working disciplines where the student or employee is self-motivated. It's just wonderful for us as instructors because we really don't have to work that hard. Can you imagine the job of an eighth-grade teacher at a middle school? How would he or she motivate students who are not really there to accomplish anything (other than doing what their parents say to do!)?

Every once in a while, we get students who are either not self-motivated or are not motivated for the right reasons. We're going to lose these students. I've seen it multiple times. In fact, when I meet new students, I usually question "why?" I can run down the list of wrong motivators almost from memory and the people who said them.

"All my friends have ratings" (1 owner of construction company, 2 doctors, 1 lawyer and 1 computer consultant.)

"My mom asked me what I wanted to do and she's paying" (1 prep school kid lasted 2 lessons).

"My dad's a pilot, but I don't want this to interfere with my tennis lessons." (another prep school kid)

"It seems so hard and I want to prove I can do it." (very sucessful business woman actually got through three lessons on pure bulldog toughness)

"The company is paying for this" (oh yeah, a consultant from a firm that had an FAA contract - took three months of cancellations to get this one in an airplane for one lesson.)

And then there's the real pilot that starts that rambling sentence that sounds all so familiar and goes like this:

"I don't know. I've always wanted to fly......As a kid I remember I used to just stop and look at the sky when a jet roared overhead.....I used to stop at airports (or this airport) and just watch planes land.....I've always wanted to try this but I don't know....isn't it hard?......I really want to do this....."

About this time I have the training contract filled out, the flight bag is on the counter and I know I've got one hook, line and sinker. There is nothing so gratifying as a motivated student and nothing so exasperating as one that is not. Keep caring for all those who truly are biten with the bug and help them reach their goal, but don't kill yourself over the "lost causes". I have a boatload of "three hour wonders" in my logbook. These are folks that make it to lesson three and never come back. It just happens.

Keep up the good work.

 

[acaTerry]

Welcome to....

Well, welcome to the wide wonderful world of being a CFI. Whatever you feel, you are doing the right thing. It is having to make decisions, tough decisions, like these that develop your skills as a leader and in conflict management. Undeniable good experience for becoming an airline crewmember. And you just passed the first test.
These are the kinds of things that the uninformed who say "instructing is not good experience" shine in their ignorance. It takes so much more than flying to be a professional pilot. Yes, there is more to it than "just sitting there" and watching someone else fly.
You may feel that you are getting too involved in your students emotionally and this is making you feel bad for doing this to him. But look at it this way: it is because you cared enough to do this that he may one day live and not die in an airplane. If you just moved him along in a "not my problem" manner, then it may one day be blood on your hands. You did what was right. Don't kick yourself for it.
Hang in there son. Just 600 or so hours more and it will all be over....
Terry