onthebeach
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2001
- Posts
- 240
OK, I just can't resist, an Aggie posts on here, so I have to tell an Aggie joke. Enjoy:
The Delta Force was recruiting for a new, Top Secret outfit to raise hell in Afghanistan. Only the best of the best of the military was invited to the testing exercises, which were pure hell. At the end of a grueling three week period without sleep or food, the last guys left are a Marine Recon guy, a SEAL, and an Aggie.
The Commanding General tells them to report at midnight to a warehouse on the base. When they get there, he briefs them: "Men, this is your final test. Whoever passes this makes the Team. I'll escort you one at a time to the test site. Marine, you're first, follow me."
The General drives the Marine a couple of miles to a blacked-out, soundproofed building. He tells the Marine to follow him, and tells his driver to bring along the duffle bag that's stowed in the back of the Humvee. Inside the building, in a little room with only one door and no furniture, the General says, "Driver, give me that duffle." The General opens the duffle, pulls out an M-16, and hands it to the Marine.
"Marine," the General says, "Here's your mission: This weapon's magazine is fully loaded, and there's a round in the chamber. All you have to do is take the safety off and fire. You are to go through that door. On the other side, you'll find YOUR WIFE sitting in a wooden chair. You are to KILL HER. Once again, this is your final test. Any questions?" The Marine shakes his head. "Very well then, Marine, MOVE OUT." The Marine salutes, and goes through the door.
The Humvee driver can't believe his ears! "General," he says, "This is absolutely inhuman!" The General laughs. "Relax, Private, the M-16 is loaded with blanks! This final test is just to weed out any psychos who might actually be capable of such a thing!" The Private laughs too, and says, "Smart thinking, Sir!" The General nods.
A couple of minutes go by in silence, then the Marine comes back through the door with his head hung low, and hands the rifle to the General. "I'm sorry, Sir...I just couldn't do it." The General takes the weapon, smiles, and congratulates the Marine on making the Team.
The same set-up gets done again for the SEAL, only the SEAL stays in the room for five suspenseful minutes before coming out to admit that he, too, just couldn't kill his own wife. The General takes the weapon, smiles, and congratulates the SEAL on making the Team.
Now it's the Aggie's turn. He goes through the door, and only a couple of seconds later, the quiet of the night is RIPPED ASUNDER by the sound of automatic weapons fire!
The General and the driver can't believe their ears!
The shots cease...only to be followed by horrible sounds of banging and screaming from the room. And then...only silence.
The General and the driver are in shock...but before they can even speak or move, the door opens and the Aggie walks through, salutes, and makes his report: "General, this d*mned weapon was loaded with BLANKS...so I had to kill her with the chair!"
The Delta Force was recruiting for a new, Top Secret outfit to raise hell in Afghanistan. Only the best of the best of the military was invited to the testing exercises, which were pure hell. At the end of a grueling three week period without sleep or food, the last guys left are a Marine Recon guy, a SEAL, and an Aggie.
The Commanding General tells them to report at midnight to a warehouse on the base. When they get there, he briefs them: "Men, this is your final test. Whoever passes this makes the Team. I'll escort you one at a time to the test site. Marine, you're first, follow me."
The General drives the Marine a couple of miles to a blacked-out, soundproofed building. He tells the Marine to follow him, and tells his driver to bring along the duffle bag that's stowed in the back of the Humvee. Inside the building, in a little room with only one door and no furniture, the General says, "Driver, give me that duffle." The General opens the duffle, pulls out an M-16, and hands it to the Marine.
"Marine," the General says, "Here's your mission: This weapon's magazine is fully loaded, and there's a round in the chamber. All you have to do is take the safety off and fire. You are to go through that door. On the other side, you'll find YOUR WIFE sitting in a wooden chair. You are to KILL HER. Once again, this is your final test. Any questions?" The Marine shakes his head. "Very well then, Marine, MOVE OUT." The Marine salutes, and goes through the door.
The Humvee driver can't believe his ears! "General," he says, "This is absolutely inhuman!" The General laughs. "Relax, Private, the M-16 is loaded with blanks! This final test is just to weed out any psychos who might actually be capable of such a thing!" The Private laughs too, and says, "Smart thinking, Sir!" The General nods.
A couple of minutes go by in silence, then the Marine comes back through the door with his head hung low, and hands the rifle to the General. "I'm sorry, Sir...I just couldn't do it." The General takes the weapon, smiles, and congratulates the Marine on making the Team.
The same set-up gets done again for the SEAL, only the SEAL stays in the room for five suspenseful minutes before coming out to admit that he, too, just couldn't kill his own wife. The General takes the weapon, smiles, and congratulates the SEAL on making the Team.
Now it's the Aggie's turn. He goes through the door, and only a couple of seconds later, the quiet of the night is RIPPED ASUNDER by the sound of automatic weapons fire!
The General and the driver can't believe their ears!
The shots cease...only to be followed by horrible sounds of banging and screaming from the room. And then...only silence.
The General and the driver are in shock...but before they can even speak or move, the door opens and the Aggie walks through, salutes, and makes his report: "General, this d*mned weapon was loaded with BLANKS...so I had to kill her with the chair!"
