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Chemtrails begone - the CHEMBUSTER!

  • Thread starter Thread starter jethro
  • Start date Start date
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AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

Foiled again!

Why is it all the good conspiracies of our time meet their doom at the hands of some backyard inventor?
 
What the f*ck? These people must be using some high-quality recreational pharaceuticals!

I'm missing out here. I should be making those things on my days off and selling them on Ebay for $1000 apiece. I'm sure the suckers would buy them- if it meant safer skies.
 
Hey I want some holy hand grenades too
 
I like the line:

"Bad orgone does carry a charge which can quickly drain one’s life force away when it’s concentrated in one spot."

Hehehehe.
 
Or, this little gem:

>>>We experimented with 5' extensions to the pipes to increase the range. It had a strong effect on the moon and on the upper atmosphere of the planet for hundreds of miles. We also apparently shut down the weather warfare facility under Homestead Air Force Base by leaving the extended Chembuster pointing at the dead orgone field above it for a week.<<<

I only wish I had the imagination to fabricate something as absurd as this...
 
[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.]

King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?

Lancelot: I know not, my liege.

King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments!

Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through
twenty-one.

Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu--

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother.

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

Brother Maynard: Amen.

All: Amen.

King Arthur: Right. One... two... five!

Galahad: Three, sir.

King Arthur: Three!
 
I saw these instructions once before. See the ingredients? If I breathed enough epoxy fumes, I might believe in chemtrails too.
 
if you order one of those kits, do you get a free case of BBQ sauce with it?
 
Hey I want some holy hand grenades too

Ahh, one of the ancient relics Brother Maynard carries!

From now on we hijack chemtrail threads with obscure quotes from Monty Python.

My brain hurts, Mr Gumby!
 
Monty Python quote? Yeah! My favorite:

Sssshhhhh-thock!

Concord: "Message for you sir..."
 
"It's only a flesh wound."

Or

"I'm being oppressed."
 
"You must spank every one of us...and then, the oral sex."

...and later...

"Can't I have a little peril?"

"No, it's too perilous."

"Bet you're gay!"

[pause]

"No I'm not."
 
French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sundry silly persons. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King and all your silly English k-nig-ots!

Galahad: Are you French?

French Soldier: Of course I am French! Why do you think I have this out-rrrrageous accent!

Galahad: What are you doing in England?

French Soldier: Mind your own business!


French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!

Arthur: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?

French Soldier: No, now go away before I taunt you a second time.

French Soldier: Hello stuffy English k-nig-ots and Arthur King who has the brains of a duck you know. How you English say again, I unplug my nose in your general direction, you sons of a window dresser. So you think you could out-clever us French folk with all your knees-bent dancing about silly behaviour. I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom wipers.

King Arthur: Open this door!

French Soldier: No chance, you English bedwetting types. I burst my pimples at you and call your door opening request a silly thing! You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!

King Arthur: If you do not open this door we shall take this castle by force!

(Garbage is dumped on Arthur's head; he and Bedeviere depart, fuming)

French Soldiers jeer; Soldier: Yes, depart... or we shoot fire arrows in the tops of your hands and make castanets out of your testicles already.
 
i want my red swingline back...dam wrong movie...
 
"It's not PINING... It's passed on!!"
 
S #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
A: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
S #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
A: Please!
S #1: Am I right?
A: I'm not interested!
S #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
S #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
...
S2: Wait a minute! Supposing *two* swallows carried it together!
S1: Nooo..... They'd have to have it on a line...
S2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
S1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
S2: Well, why not?


later

BRIDGEKEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
BRIDGEKEEPER: Huh? I-- I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh! [ explodes and dies ]
BEDEVERE: How do know so much about swallows?
ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
 

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