Blonde Joke of the Day

[rajflyboy]

This guy walked into a bar and there was 3 blonde haired women seating next to the bar.

He asked one of the ladies, Do you want to hear a blonde joke?

She said, I'm 6"2" and a professional westler.
My girlfriend is 6"2" and a professional bodybuilder.
My other girlfriend is 6"2" and a professional kickboxer.

Then she said, Are you sure you want to tell us your blonde joke?

He said, Not if I have to tell it 3 times.

 

[TR4A]

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde are sitting in a doctors office, talking about what sex of child they are going to have. the Brunette says "I am going to have a boy because I was on top when having sex." The Redhead replied "I am going to have a girl because I was on the bottom while having sex." Then the Blond says hesterically " Oh my God, I am going to have puppies."
​

 

[rajflyboy]

cool stuff

 

[WrknStff]

A sailor was walking through New York in January when he saw a beautiful blonde woman getting ready to jump off a bridge to her certain death. He runs up to the woman and yells "Lady! Don't do it!". The Blonde looks at him and say "But I am so sick of this city and I can't afford to leave, I'm just going to end it all." The sailor says, "Lady, I'm a sailor on a ship that leaves tomorrow for the tropics. I could stow you away in my cabin and in about a month you can be on the beach of a Pacific island soaking in the sun. The only price I ask is that you sleep with me whenever I ask during the journey." The blonde thought a moment and then agreed. The sailor then sneaks her onto his ship and for the next several weeks she hides aboard the ship having sex with the sailor. Then one day the captain is making an inspection and finds the blonde. "Lady!" he cries, "what are you doing stowing away on my ship?" The blonde tells the captain of her deal with the sailor and how all she wants it to see that pacific island he told her about. The captain looks at her in bewilderment. "Lady, this is the Staten Island Ferry!"

 

[Pull & Rotate]

In the sixth grade, there are three girls. One girl is a blonde, one is a brunett, and one is a red head. Which one has the biggest breasts?........

The blonde, she's 19.

 

[AFELLOWAVIATOR]

You hear about the blonde going to the airport?



She saw the sign "Airport Left",....sooo ..she turned around and went home.

 

[groundpointsix]

As the passengers were boarding a full flight to Hawaii, one of the first class passengers notices a blonde sitting in his seat. He gets the flight attendent who in turn asks to see the blonde's ticket. Upon realizing the blonde's ticket is for coach, the f/a tells her she's going to have to get up and move to the back of the plane. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm flying first class to Hawaii" The f/a tries several more times but is repeatedly met with "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm flying first class to Hawaii." Frustrated, the f/a gets the captain to come back and deal with the woman. The captain leans down and whispers something to the blonde, who promptly gets up and walks back into coach. Amazed that it was that simple, the f/a asks the captain what he said. "Well," replies the captain, "I just told her first class wasn't going to Hawaii."

 

[Kingairrick]

A blonde woman gets pulled over for speeding. The officer asks for her liscense and registration. After digging in her large purse for a while and still unable to find her liscense, she asks the officer what her driver's liscence looks like.
"It's a small square thing with your picture on it."
She digs some more and finds her compact. Opens it, and says "Oh, this must be it!" and hands it to the officer.
The officer looks at the open compact and says "Hey! I didn't realize you were a police officer! You're free to go!"

 

[Ailerongirl]

A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench... After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean? "Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!" Hel-LLLO! It's only 25 cents!

 

[johnnyV]

The quarter - back. That's awesome!

 

[TonyC]

A blonde woman gets pulled over for speeding. The officer asks for her liscense and registration. After digging in her large purse for a while and still unable to find her liscense, she asks the officer what her driver's liscence looks like.
"It's a small square thing with your picture on it."
She digs some more and finds her compact. Opens it, and says "Oh, this must be it!" and hands it to the officer.
The officer looks at the open compact and says "Hey! I didn't realize you were a police officer! You're free to go!"

That loses something if you fail to point out that the officer is also blonde.

 

[Kingairrick]

That's actually the funny part...What color is YOUR hair?

 

[TR4A]

A young blonde woman goes to an office for a job interview.

The interviewer decides to start with the basics. "So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 3 seconds before replying "Ehh... 23!".

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot three!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "Stephanie".

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks "Just out of curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?"

"Ohh that!" replies the blonde, "That's just me running through 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...'"

 

[BornAgainPagan]

A blonde is walking and sees a banana peel on the sidewalk. She says to herself; "oh no, here we go again!"

Why are most blond jokes one liners?

So men can understand them.

 

[Some guy]

A blonde woman driving down a country road notices another blonde woman in a rowboat in a cornfield rowing frantically. The blonde pulls up next to her and asks what she is doing. "I'm going to the store, what does it look like?" The woman in the car gets extremely upset and starts yelling at her... "You know it's blondes like you that give all of us a bad name. How stupid can you be?" She's ranting and raving and just before she drives away, she tells the blonde in the rowboat, "You are so stupid, and if I could swim I would get out of this car and kick your a$$!"


Or something like that...

 

[irapilot]

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde are sitting in a doctors office, talking about what sex of child they are going to have. the Brunette says "I am going to have a boy because I was on top when having sex." The Redhead replied "I am going to have a girl because I was on the bottom while having sex." Then the Blond says hesterically " Oh my God, I am going to have puppies."




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This is what I love - "jokes about dumb people" with misspellings – you have to admit that’s hysterically funny. Sorry TR4A, nothing personal.

 

[Jetsi]

My 2 Cents

Why are blonde women's belly button's blue?

Because blonde guys are just as stupid.

Jetsi