Airline Rejection Letter

[PTinbound]

Well, after failing miserably at humor last week, I thought I'd give it another go. I dug this up from an old email that was circulating...

AIRLINE REJECTION LETTER
Dear (name of airline),

Thank you for your letter dated June 1st. After careful
consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept
your refusal to offer me pilot employment with your airline.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an
unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied
and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to
accept all refusals. Despite your outstanding qualifications and
previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your
rejection does not meet my needs at this time.

Therefore, I will initiate employment with your airline next
Monday. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future pilot candidates.

Sincerely,
(your name)

 

[Lonestar]

That's the funniest dam shizza I have in a long time. I wonder how he is doing at his new job?

 

[njcapt]

After I got hired at ATA (well, after I finished IOE) I went back to throw out my voluminous files of old resumes and airline apps. I managed to find all of my rejection letters from various carriers. I think I'll get them framed and hang them in the office. They will start near the door with my initial reject from Eagle back in 1991 and will lead around through United and SWA before culminating with my acceptance letter from ATA by the computer - where I can look at it while composing eloquent prose such as this.

 

[F/O]

PT

Could ya work up an "unable to accept your furlough" letter as well?

 

[md8pilot]

How's This?

Dear Chief Pilot:

I am in receipt of the certified letter thAAt confirms my furlough effective January 1, 2003. While I AAppreciate the opportunity to take some bAAdly-needed time off, especially in light of the fAAct that all of my trips this month have been extended due to under-mAAnning, I am unable to accept a furlough at this time for the following reasons:

1. After being stAApled earlier this year I unfortunately lost my seat. This resulted in a significant reduction in pay and financial hardship. Any further reduction in pay would be unAAcceptable.
2. My mortgage company has stated that they would prefer I remain employed.
3. I only have about ½ of a cord of firewood left. Going into the winter months, this would not meet my heating requirements should my electricity be disconnected due to lack of pAAyment.
4. There are others on the seniority list hired 6 years AAfter me. Maybe they should be offered this opportunity first.
5. I would miss the revolving Sun Dial restaurant while on ATL lAAyovers.
6. And lAAstly, an extended furlough would require that I move in with my mother-in-law. She’s a good cook but her house smells like moth balls.

In light of these fAActs, I shall refuse this furlough and report for work promptly on January 2; however, should FedEx offer me employment in the future I am AAbsolutely, Positively out of here….Overnight.

ThAAnk You,
MD8PILOT

 

[hudbaby]

Furlough rejection letter

You've definitely got a future in the entertainment industry. It's great to some a little humor surrounding an otherwise unpleasant situation.