A Suggestions About P.A.'s

[Typhoon1244]

Now that I'm commuting, I'm spending a lot of time in the back of airliners, and I'm noticing some trends. (For example, when did RJ pilots start taxiing so dammed fast...and become so heavy-footed with the brakes? )

The thing I've noticed that raises the most eyebrows in the cabin, though, are P.A. announcements that are laced with jargon. Yeah, I'm a pilot, so I know exactly what you're talking about. But most passengers don't understand...

--what an APU, an ILS, or a VOR is.
--what it means to "hold at CAPTI." (Or any other intersection, for that matter.)
--what a "letdown" is.
--how far out "in-range" is.
--what a "172" is.
--what a Flight Level is.
--what "minimums" are.

...etc., etc., etc.

I know it may not seem like a big deal, but you end up with a slightly happier customer if you bring things down to their level, I think. Especially during an emergency or some other unusual operation. You don't have to turn it into baby-talk, but try to keep it to where someone who hasn't passed the Private Pilot written can still follow you.

Anyway, for what it's worth, that's my advice. (I've got more, but I hate being a back-seat driver! )

 

[typhoonpilot]

I agree typhoon, P.A.s should be in easy terms so the Wal Mart shopping masses can understand. Other advice for P.A.s would be not to make them in the middle of the night when people are trying to sleep and, most important, don't make them to ATC

As for the emergency situation I would tend more towards an obscure P.A. that they really can't understand so as not to panic them or perhaps one that has a double meaning. Two examples, the first for an engine fire; " Ladies and gentleman we have a technical problem with the starboard engine and are returning to the airport " versus " Ladies and gentleman we are on fire and we are all going to die ! " Which would you rather hear ? Or " Ladies and gentleman we have a gear malfunction that requires us to return for landing " versus " Ladies and gentleman we have been unable to raise the landing gear, I have tried numerous times, but I just can't seem to get it up "


Typhoonpilot

 

[Typhoon1244]

..."I have tried numerous times, but I just can't seem to get it up."

That's one thing I'm not saying to a planeload of people!

(Or anybody else, for that matter... )

 

[urflyingme?!]

I hereby apologize for the folowing post:
Just can't get it up eh? Sounds like a personal problem.....

I just couldn't resist.

 

[F70pilot]

"Ladies and Gentlemen there is no reason to panic. The aircraft is NOT on fire."

 

[350DRIVER]

"No need to worry folks (10 sec. pause) eghh..these bibles up front with us have yet to let us down (20 sec. pause) , remain cool and hold hands and possibly say a prayer with your flight crew this morning and we shall get through this somehow or way"

45 sec. pause ...> " I think someone onboard must have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night"




3 5 0

 

[jergar999]

I used to fly air ambulance with a guy like that. We had a family member on board who asked about our destination weather and he read her the metar.

 

[mar]

And another thing...

Chill out with that deep baritone Soul Train voice.

We all know you're really 5'5'' and 190#.

 

[njcapt]

... and please, please, don't unkey and rekey the mike between each phrase in your PA's. Just hold the freaking button down and let fly. I see this affliction primarily from the ex-military guys I fly with (not a slam, I think it comes from lots of intercom use), but it exists in lots of pilots. It causes a crack / pop over the cabin PA stsyem, makes F/A's crazy (since they don't really know when the big windbag is done talking so they can make their announcements), and in our 737's it causes the video system to stop and start with every mike click like some annoying MTV video. When I'm sitting in the back and the crew is afflicted with this malady, it makes me cringe.

... oh yeah, and don't say fuc#, fire, late, or lost over the PA, either.

PS So what's wrong with this 5'8" 190# dude using his Don Cornelius voice (at least I don't embellish it with a fake southern accent)?

 

[flying4life]

I don't make any unrequired P/A's between 9PM and 9AM. When I'm commuting there's nothing I hate more than a guy who wants to ramble on about flying with us at 06:30. Most people are sleeping.

 

[Flightsafety]

You're right on!

 

[ilinipilot]

USA today ran a little blurb about this same subject on Fri in the Life section it said if you hear a captain mention the following quotes it means something else:

i.e.

restricted vis means fog
a little chop means turbulence
there were others but i forgot them.

just some interesting topics in the ole USAtoday
D

 

[Stifler's Mom]

USA today ran a little blurb about this same subject on Fri in the Life section it said if you hear a captain mention the following quotes it means something else:

i.e.

restricted vis means fog
a little chop means turbulence
there were others but i forgot them.

just some interesting topics in the ole USAtoday
D

Article

 

[sky37d]

My favorite, on this subject, came many years ago at JFK.
We had an exchange student from Belgium living with us, and she was going home for Christmas.

We're at the gate, and the gate person says, "we are delaying boarding because we have a little fuel leak, nothing big, we'll get it fixed, and be on our way shortley." OH GREAT

A little while later, he comes on the PA again, and says "we got the fuel leak fixed, but there are some burned out lights, and we want to get them fixed, be a few more minutes". OH WONDERFUL.

A little while later, "OK, ready to board". Everyone is wondering if that is really a good idea. Plane backs away from the gate, heads for the runway. We hear an "OH NO!!, Our Plane!!". Seems someone was down getting sloshed in the bar, and didn't hear the "OK, ready to board". SOL. Quite humourous really, for us, not them.