Ben Franklin
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2003
- Posts
- 580
April 23, 2008 - Geneva
"Today was very productive, and I've never even ridden on a commercial jetliner." That comment (from an unidentified analyst close to the head table who declined to be named due to his close proximity to the vegetable platter) came just minutes after airline analysts from around the globe emerged from a meeting today where they met to discuss the future of the very industry that has allowed them to make virtual asses of themselves in various media - all while getting paid handsomely - for many years.
Hugh g. Rection, compete with fez led the ceremonies today which lasted well over :30 minutes. Mr. Rection spoke on a wide variety of topics such as: printer ink, word processing files as well as the stark similarities between his office and the American TV show "The Office". "Only after someone pointed out that I forgot to talk about the airline industry did it even dawn on me to speak about it", said Mr, Rection "Once I gathered my thoughts I delivered my ground breaking power point presentation on future airline profits, it was all downhill"
"Hugh is a genius... He's - well, there's nothing else to say - pure genius... he should get a pay raise for his genius-ness... is that a word? Oh I'm so giddy at this power point I cannot wait to email my clients!" - That comment from Greece's premiere analyst Harry Peritestes on what was undoubtedly the highlight of Rection's thirty minutes of fame today.
The groundbreaking presentation: AIRLINES TO MAKE RECORD PROFITS AFTER OIL RUNS OUT
The powerpoint guided enthralled visitors through various balance sheet scenarios, economic ups and downs as well as various pandemic and other emergency simulations. All roads in the presentation led to massive profits for airlines after oil runs out.
Pens went to paper, blackberries lit up and iPhones almost melted as the analysts scrambled to the be the first ones with the story at their home offices.
"I don't see how all of us never saw this coming. This just shows the necessity for airline analysts in today's turbulent industry. I like to think that we're helping", explained Maria Anyways from Nicaragua.
"Fuel is currently the airline's #1 expense and will simply drop off the radar when oil runs out, I'm telling all of my clients to actually invest in these airlines for the long haul and just wait it out to reap the rewards of record profits."
This was the last comment from Rection, star analyst and self appointed "grand poobah" of today's event before he parted ways to head home via the QE2 tomorrow morning.
Other analysts will remain in Geneva for further discussion on how lack of oil will affect airline's impact on the environment.
:beer:
Sincerely,
B. Franklin
"Today was very productive, and I've never even ridden on a commercial jetliner." That comment (from an unidentified analyst close to the head table who declined to be named due to his close proximity to the vegetable platter) came just minutes after airline analysts from around the globe emerged from a meeting today where they met to discuss the future of the very industry that has allowed them to make virtual asses of themselves in various media - all while getting paid handsomely - for many years.
Hugh g. Rection, compete with fez led the ceremonies today which lasted well over :30 minutes. Mr. Rection spoke on a wide variety of topics such as: printer ink, word processing files as well as the stark similarities between his office and the American TV show "The Office". "Only after someone pointed out that I forgot to talk about the airline industry did it even dawn on me to speak about it", said Mr, Rection "Once I gathered my thoughts I delivered my ground breaking power point presentation on future airline profits, it was all downhill"
"Hugh is a genius... He's - well, there's nothing else to say - pure genius... he should get a pay raise for his genius-ness... is that a word? Oh I'm so giddy at this power point I cannot wait to email my clients!" - That comment from Greece's premiere analyst Harry Peritestes on what was undoubtedly the highlight of Rection's thirty minutes of fame today.
The groundbreaking presentation: AIRLINES TO MAKE RECORD PROFITS AFTER OIL RUNS OUT
The powerpoint guided enthralled visitors through various balance sheet scenarios, economic ups and downs as well as various pandemic and other emergency simulations. All roads in the presentation led to massive profits for airlines after oil runs out.
Pens went to paper, blackberries lit up and iPhones almost melted as the analysts scrambled to the be the first ones with the story at their home offices.
"I don't see how all of us never saw this coming. This just shows the necessity for airline analysts in today's turbulent industry. I like to think that we're helping", explained Maria Anyways from Nicaragua.
"Fuel is currently the airline's #1 expense and will simply drop off the radar when oil runs out, I'm telling all of my clients to actually invest in these airlines for the long haul and just wait it out to reap the rewards of record profits."
This was the last comment from Rection, star analyst and self appointed "grand poobah" of today's event before he parted ways to head home via the QE2 tomorrow morning.
Other analysts will remain in Geneva for further discussion on how lack of oil will affect airline's impact on the environment.
:beer: Sincerely,
B. Franklin
